


Ereri Truth or Dare

by Malum_Discordiae



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dominant Eren Yeager, I have no shame, M/M, Submissive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Top Eren Yeager, Toppin from the bottom now we here, Uke Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-03 04:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 19,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4087045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malum_Discordiae/pseuds/Malum_Discordiae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ask Eren and Levi any truth or dare questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

This is an Ereri, oneshots, truth or dare book. Leave your questions/dares and to whom they are for in the comment section.


	2. Girl Problems

ElizabethHeath: I dare Levi to dress as a chick! In a pink, frilly dress with lace panties. Eren can't touch him either, so no touchy touchy, Eren.

Levi: What?! No way I'm doing that! (blushes)

Winter: You don't have a choice (tosses Levi the outfit). Now put it on. 

Levi: I hate you, with a passion! 

Winter: Nah you love me (pounces on Levi and puts him in the dress). Now how do you feel?

Levi: Like shit thanks for asking. 

Winter: Aw my poor baby, I know what will make you feel better. Eren get in here!

Eren: What the hell do you want Winter? Can you see I'm very... Levi why are you wearing that?

Levi: She put it on me!

Eren: Thank you Winter. Now I know what I'm gonna be doing for the next hour. (walking towards Levi)

Winter: No no Eren, no touchy time for you.

Eren: What?

Levi: It's part of a dare. I have to wear this ridiculous pink dress and you're not allowed to touch me.

Eren: Who the hell would think of something like that? 

Winter: My bestie, that's who! And you two are just gonna have to tough it out. 

Later that day

Levi: (cooking dinner)

Eren: Whatcha making babe? 

Levi: It's a surprise hun.

Eren: Well it smells delicious (puts his arms around Levi).

Winter: Eren what did I tell you?!

Eren: But he just looks so sexy. 

Winter: (hits Eren with a bat) I don't wanna hear it! Just don't touch him again! 

Eren: But we sleep in the same bed together. So you won't know if I touch him or not. 

Winter: Then I'll have to watch you two while you sleep again. 

Eren and Levi: What?!

Winter: Nothing (runs away)

Eren: She's just like Hanji (hugs Levi).

Winter: No touching! 

Levi: Yeah she is, a little too much.


	3. JAEGER

LivingLifeLikeItIs: I dare Eren and Levi to go to a mall, dressed as pretty princesses and dance while singing the aot op song.

Eren and Levi: What the fuck!

Winter: Let's go. 

Time skip to mall 

Eren: I don't understand why we have to do this.

Levi: Yeah, this is some bullshit. 

Winter: Oh stop complaining you two. Levi you should be used to wearing that pink dress by now. And Eren, the blue one really suits your eyes. No get up there and make momma proud. (Pushes them in the middle of the crowded mall) Now sing!

Levi: I hate her so much.

Eren: You're not the only one. 

Eren and Levi: Seid ihr das Essen?  
Nein, wir sind der Jäger! Ha...ha! wir sind der Jager! Ha...ha! wir sind der Jager!

Levi: Fuma reta hana no namae mo shirazuni   
Ji ni ochita tori wa kaze wo machiwabiru   
Inotta tokoro de nani mo kawaranai   
Ima o kaeru no wa tatakau kakugoda

Eren: Shikabane fumikoete susumu ishi wo warau buta yo   
Kachiku no an'nei... Kyogi no han'ei... Shiseru kao no "jiyuu" o! 

Eren and Levi: Torawareta kutsujoku wa hangeki no koushida Jouheki no sono kanata emono o hofuru Yegar  
Hotobashiru shoudou ni sono mi o yakinagara tasogare ni hi wo ugatsu   
Guren no yumiya  
Ha...ha! wir sind der Jager!   
Ha...ha! wir sind der Jager! 

Mikasa: Eren, Levi what are you two doing?!

Jean: Ha, look at those idiots singing and... well I wouldn't even qualify that as dancing. It's more like just running around in circles.

Armin: Why do they have to do this when the mall is this frikin crowded?

Random girl: Mommy, what are those people doing? And why are they dressed like my dollies?

Mother: I don't know sweetie, but let's get out of here before something bad happens.

*loud thumping is heard and the building begins shaking 

Crowd: WHAT'S GOING ON?! EVERYONE GET OUT OF HERE!

Erwin: Eren and Levi stop singing that song! Don't you know what happens when you do?!

Eren and Levi: No

Erwin: Titans appear! 

Eren: Titans! TIIIITTAAAAANNS! KILL, KILL ALL OF THEM! AAHHHH! (runs out the mall)

Levi: Oh god, Eren! (follows him)

1 hour later

Winter: Well the entire city is destroyed, but I think we've learned a valuable lesson from this.

Levi: You're fucking insane. 

Eren: Levi's ass looks good in a dress.

Mikasa: You all are idiots. 

Armin: Go to the mall alone.

Jean: Blue is not Eren's color. 

Erwin: Never sing Guren no Yumiya.

Winter: No! We learned that Ereri is so cannon. 

Erwin: How is that the lesson.


	4. Buns Hun

hanji_zoe_: I dare Levi to twerk in front of Eren.

Levi: But I don't know how to twerk.

Winter: Oh Levi, if Miley can do it so can you. Besides, you have a way cuter butt than she'll ever have. Titan baby get in here!

Eren: What could you possibly want now? 

Winter: Your boyfriend has a little surprise for you. Now sit your ass in that chair. 

Eren: Ugh fine. (sits in chair)

Winter: Alright Levi give your man a show!

Levi: (walks up to Eren) I'm really sorry for this. (starts twerking)

Eren: L-Levi what are you doing? 

Levi: It was a dare! Uh Eren, you've got some blood dripping down your nose.

Eren: Well what do you expect when you start dancing like that. You know I have a hard time controlling my hormones. Come with me. (grabs Levi's arm and takes him into their room)

Winter: I wonder what they're doing in there? (leans against door to listen)

Levi: Ah.. ha.. ha.. oh Eren!

Eren: Mh.. Levi.. so tight. 

Winter: Is it possible to get a girl boner? Because I think I have one right now. I'm feeling a little light headed now. (passes out)

An hour later 

Eren: Why is she sleeping in front of our door?

Levi: How the hell an I suppose to know that? Just leave her there. It's her punishment for making me do that dare. 

Eren: Oh come on Levi, you know you enjoyed what came after the dare. (smirks)

Levi: Shut up! (blushes) You're a pain in my ass. 

Winter: Literally!

Eren: We thought you were sleeping.

Winter: Nah, I just passed out from listening to yours and Levi's sexy time. 

Levi: I'm going kill you!

Winter: Yeah good luck with that twerky.


	5. "Just Friends "

ArminArlert33: I have a truth for Eren. Do you really think of Mikasa as a sister or more than that? And how would you feel if Mikasa and Armin were dating? 

Eren: ...

Winter: So Eren, answer the question. 

Levi: Yeah Eren, answer the question. 

Eren: Levi why do you sound so pissed?

Levi: Because I've be wondering the same thing for a long time. Do you like her Eren? Am I not good enough for you? Just tell me now cuz if you do we don't have to waste anymore time on this relationship. 

Eren: What are you taking about Levi? 

Levi: I'm tired of how friendly you two are towards eachother. A little too friendly I say. Is there anything going on between you two?

Eren: She's like a sister to me, in fact she is my sister. 

Levi: But she's not you're really sister is she?

Eren: Well no but-

Levi: But nothing Eren! Pick now, me or her?!

Eren: Listen to me Levi. (grabs his face) I love you and only you. That's why I've been with you so long. I wouldn't let anyone come between us, not even Mikasa. I don't care for anyone else except you. Don't ever doubt that.

Levi: I'm sorry Eren, I guess I do get a little jealous. 

Eren: A little? 

Levi: Shut up brat. (Hugs Eren)

Winter: I hate to break up this little love fest, but Eren you still have another question. How would you feel if Mikasa and Armin were dating? 

Eren: I don't give a fuck what those two do. And can't you see I'm holding my baby right now?!

Levi: Yeah get the hell outta here!

Winter: Fine! Ya hear the Mika and Armin?! You two can go fuck each other until you pass out for all Eren cares!

Mikasa and Armin: WHAT?!

Mikasa: Where the hell is Eren now?!

Winter: He's over there, tongue wrestling with Levi. 

Armin: Ooookay, I think we should leave. They're starting to get all grabby.

Winter: You two can go, I gonna stay and watch.

Armin: Alright you freak. Hey Mika, wanna catch a movie? 

Mikasa: Sure Armin, I'd love to. (blushes)

Winter: I think we have a new couple! 

Mikasa and Armin: Shut up!


	6. My Man

Lilpupz: I dare Eren to survive 3 days with Jean flirting with him and Levi cannot do anything about it except watch. 

Eren: You mean I have to deal with horse face?

Jean: And I have to flirt with the suicidal bastard?

Levi: And I have to watch, FOR 3 DAYS?!

Marco: I don't like this dare.

Levi: Well join the club. 

Winter: Levi stop being pissy. Eren and Jean, get over it. And it's alright Marco, Jean still loves you. Levi; the same goes for you and Eren.

Day 1 

Jean: Hey Eren, are you black licorice. Because nobody likes you and you're a complete waste of time. 

Winter: That's not how you flirt Jean!

Jean: I can't flirt with this loser.

Winter: Well you better figure out how to and do it fast.

Jean: Fine! (puts arm around Eren) Hey babe, you have really pretty eyes.

Eren: Get your arm off my shoulder before I bite it off.

Levi: Yeah get away from him.

Winter: You have no say in this Levi, remember? 

Levi: I hate all of you.

Day 2 

Jean: Eren did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 

Eren: No, but it's gonna hurt when I throw you out the window. 

Marco: Jean used that same line on me. (cries)

Levi: And I used the same window line on Eren. (cries)

Day 3

Eren: Thank Maria it's almost over. 

Levi: Whatever

Eren: Wanna go out later on? 

Levi: Whatever

Eren: We could go to that Italian place you love. 

Levi: Whatever

Eren: Levi what's wrong with you?!

Levi: I'm a little upset from the unwanted attention you've been receiving from horse face. 

Jean: EREN!

Levi: Speak of the devil. 

Eren: What do you want Jean. 

Jean: Because of you and your little dare Marco broke up with me. He said that 'if I really loved him I wouldn't have taken the dare'.

Levi: I don't blame him. I was close to knocking your teeth out. 

Jean: I gotta go figure out a way to get him back. 

Winter: What about the dare?

Jean: Fuck the dare! (walks away)

Winter: And this is why I don't ship JeanxEren. They're both semes in my eyes. And a relationship with two semes will never work out.


	7. Drunken Love

ArminArlert33: I dare Eren to get Levi drunk and see what happens when he starts to flirt with him.

Winter: Well you heard em Eren, go get Levi drunk. 

Levi: I want no part of this.

Eren: Oh come on Levi, it might be fun.

Levi: Nothing ever good comes out of being drunk. It just leads to mistakes, horrible mistake. 

Eren: But you'll be with me the entire time.

Levi: And that's exactly why I don't wanna do it. (walks away)

Winter: What are you gonna do now?

Eren: I'll just spike his drink or something. 

Winter: You're becoming more like me everyday. 

Eren: I know, it's terrifying. 

Winter: Embrace the fear Eren, EMBRACE IT! 

Eren: Ooookay, whatever you say. (walks away slowly)

Time skip 

Eren: Hey Levi, I brought you some coke.

Levi: You brought drugs in my house Eren!

Eren: No, No! I'm talking about the drink Levi.

Levi: Oh, thanks you're sweet. (drinks the soda) Errren I.. feeeel funny. (hiccup)

Eren: Oh really, I have know idea why.

Levi: You.. you.. did sumthin to my dwink.. didn't you? You're.. lucky you're cwute.. or I would.. Oh god you're hot!

Eren: Uh thanks, I guess. 

Levi: You.. you don't wuv me. (Cries)

Eren: Yes I do, why would you think that?

Levi: Hey Errreeen.. you are sooooo good looking. Kiss me! (Jumps on Eren) 

Eren: Levi, hun get off.

Levi: ...

Eren: Babe you're hurting me.

Levi: (snores)

Eren: Are you sleeping?! You're joking right? (picks up Levi and puts him on their bed)

Another time skip 

Winter: So, how did it go?

Eren: No more drinks for Levi, ever!

Winter: I take it didn't go very well.

Eren: What do you think. He was completely out of it. His mind was wondering ever two seconds and I he couldn't hold up a conversation. 

Winter: Well that's what being drunk will do to you. But I was asking about the flirting. 

Eren: If you call 'constantly telling me I was hot and falling asleep on me' flirting, then it went pretty well. 

Winter: I guess he isn't his best while he's drunk. So where gonna do this every week. I can see it now, Wasted Wednesdays is now in progress. 

Levi: EREN! MY HEAD IS FUCKING KILLING ME BECAUSE OF YOU! AND NOW I'M GONNA SMASH YOU HEAD OPEN!

Eren: Kill me now.

Winter: Sorry Eren I can't do that, at least not yet.

Eren: Ok, now I'm scared of you.

Winter: Good, you should be.


	8. Alone

Lilpupz: I dare Levi to spend one week without Eren. No pictures/videos/drawings/fan art etc of Eren. Just spending that one week with Hanji and being nice to her. (Experimenting on Levi is allowed for Hanji)

Winter: You just love seeing Levi suffer don't you? He's gonna hate this but he can't say no.

Levi: Please don't make me do this. (hugs Eren)

Eren: Yeah, you know he has anxiety when we're separated for a long time.

Winter: Does it look like I care? Hanji give me a hand with this one.

Hanji: Poor little Levi. Don't worry we can test experiments to take your mind off it. (pries Levi off Eren)

Levi: No, don't do this to me! 

Winter: Eren you have to leave the house for a while. Go stay with Mikasa or something. 

Levi: No way I'm letting Eren sleep over at the bitch's house. 

Winter: Mikasa is dating Armin, stop worrying. 

Eren: Well I guess I'll be going, bye Levi. (leaves the house)

Day 1

Levi: Eren, Eren, Eren...

Hanji: Levi hun, it's just the first day cheer up. 

Levi: How can I when Eren and Mikasa are I the same house alone? They're probably sitting on the same couch, watching a romantic movie. She leans in to kiss him and he doesn't stop her. It heats up and they end up in the bedroom-

Hanji: Levi stop it! Eren loves you and Mikasa loves Armin. They would never do that to you guys.

Levi: Your right, Eren is never leaving me. He's probably still in this house, he never left. Eren where are you?!

Winter: He's going through the 7 stages of grief. Stage 1, denial. This is gonna be a long week.

Day 3 

Winter: Levi how ya doin?

Levi: Fucking fantastic. Hanji has done none stop experiments on me. I've been poked and probed all over. And I miss Eren. How do you think I'm fucking doing you worthless piece of shit!

Winter: Well I see you're still stuck on anger. I'll visit you when you hit depression. 

Day 5

Hanji: Well I see you finally hit depression. You sure are moving through these stages fast. I'd like to do some more research on how your brain functions. 

Levi: ... (laying on the floor)

Hanji: Leeeevi~ What's wrong? 

Levi: I'm sad.

Hanji: How many more stages are we going to have to go through?

Winter: Well we're on stage 4 now so we have 3 left.

Day 6

Levi: What if he's hurt or worse, I wouldn't know. He could be laying out on the street dead, and it would be all my fault. I should have never let him leave. I should have never let him take the dare. If he gets hurt I could never forgive myself.

Hanji: Did he just go back to guilt? 

Winter: Apparently he's regressed from stage 4 back to stage 2. It wouldn't surprise me though. If my memory serves me correctly he actually skipped stage 2, so it would make sense to go back to it. What doesn't make sense to me is why he skipped it in the first place.

Hanji: Who knows, this calls for more research. (lunges towards Levi with metal scalpel)

Winter: No!

Day 7 

Winter: So ya feeling ok now? 

Levi: Yeah, I actually feel great now. I think I can last a long time without Eren now.

Eren: Levi, I'm back!

Levi: ERREEEEN! (jumps on Eren) Don't ever leave me again. 

Winter: Yeah, please don't leave him. He made our lives a living hell.

Hanji: On the bright side I did get to do a lot of experiments on him.

Winter: You are such a nerd. Why don't you just go back to your big eyebrowed boyfriend. 

Hanji: Maybe I will, at least Erwin appreciates my scientific discoveries.

Levi: He only pretends to be interested because he knows it'll get him laid.

Eren: How about I get laid right now. I really missed you Levi, in more ways than one. (takes Levi into bedroom)

Winter: Well time to get my daily intake of Ereri, I've been deprived.


	9. Not So Clean

ivingLifeLikeItIs: I dare Eren to hide all of Levi's cleaning supplies and can't tell him anything. We have to see Levi's reaction. 

Winter: Ha, Eren you're so fucking dead when he finds out.

Eren: Yeah I know. (takes cleaning supplies and puts them in top cabinet)

Winter: Well good luck when he finds out.

Eren: Thanks I'm gonna need it. 

Later that day 

Levi: Eren have you seen all the cleaning supplies. I can't find the bleach, windex, or even soap.

Eren: No, Levi I haven't. Have you tried looking all over the house. Because I'm sure if you did you would find them. Maybe you're just not looking hard enough. 

Levi: Are you lying to me?

Eren: No, why would you even think to say something like that?

Levi: I've lived with you long enough to know when you're lying to me. You tend to ramble on utter nonsense. 

Eren: That is an excellent observation, I should look in to that.

Levi: I'm not gonna ask again Eren. Where are my cleaning supplies? If you don't tell me I'm sending your ass to the store to go and get some. 

Eren: ... (looks up at the cabinet)

Levi: Did you put all of them in the top cabinet?! The one you know I can't reach! You are just the lowest form of life Eren Jaeger! And I can't believe you would play against my own weaknesses! You know what, I'm not sleeping with you tonight! In fact, you're sleeping on the couch! And you better have them down and put away in the next five minutes! (storms off)

Eren: Levi! Come on babe. It was a dare, it's not as if I had a choice. 

Levi: Fuck off Eren!

Winter: Well he sure seems to be upset. What did you do this time?

Eren: I hide the cleaning supplies somewhere he couldn't reach. 

Winter: Wow, you're a fucking idiot Jaeger. 

Levi: I agree!


	10. Video

Lilpupz: I dare Levi to make out with Eren and video it then show it to Hanji. 

Levi: Isn't that like a porno.

Winter: If Levi's in it that would be child pornography, and I do not condone that.

Levi: I'm 26 fucking years old!

Winter: I don't know, your height says otherwise.

Levi: Fuck you and your little psychotic twin.

Winter: I love you too Levi. Eren come and make out with your boyfriend on film.

Eren: Why, so you can jerk off to it later?

Winter: Well I would, if I wasn't a girl. Now come on titan boy, kiss your midget boyfriend. (pulls out video camera)

Levi: Let's just get this damn thing over with.

Eren: Alright then. (Eren pulled Levi in for a passionate kiss. Tongues were swirling for a good five minutes.)

Winter: Oh god, that's so hot.

(Eren and Levi pulled apart.)

Levi: Did you get enough of your sick footage?

Winter: Oh I got more than enough, HANJI! 

Hanji: What's up my psychotic twin?

Winter: Check out this video. (shows Hanji the video)

Hanji: Oh my god, that's so hot!

Winter: That's what I said.

Hanji: Can I borrow that footage? 

Levi: What are you gonna do with it?

Winter: It's all yours. 

Hanji: Thanks (takes camera and runs away)

Levi: You better not do anything that I wouldn't approve of! 

5 min later

Winter: Hanji just sent me a link to something guys. 

Eren: What is it now?

Winter: I don't know, let me open the video.... Oh my god, no she didn't.

Levi: Did what?

Winter: She posted the video of you guys kissing. 

Eren and Levi: What?!

Winter: Yeah and check out the comments. 

Comment section  
______________________________________  
| Yaoilova: Is this child pornograph?   
|   
|Sasukekilla: How old is that boy   
|with the undercut?   
|   
|Horseface: Ha gaaaaaaayyy!   
|   
|Parentalfigure: Kids today and their  
|liking of people that are too old for   
|them.   
\---------------------------------------------------------

Winter: Apparently everyone thinks your a kid Levi.

Levi: I hate everything.


	11. In Love

hikari245: Levi, what would you do if Eren fell in love with Mikasa and she also loved him? 

Eren: Ugh, why do we have to go back on this touchy topic again? I love Mikasa, but like a sister. And she loves me like a brother. Besides, she's with Armin. 

Winter: Oh I'm sorry Eren, but I wasn't fully aware that the question was for you. Oh wait, it's not. So why don't you shut up and stop being a little bitch because you're scared to hear the truth of what Levi would do to you if you ever betrayed him.

Eren: Wow harsh. 

Winter: I know, now Levi please answer. 

Levi: Well I guess I would go through the stage where you blame yourself. You know like asking questions such as, 'Was I good enough' or 'What did I do wrong'. Then I'd probably have one of my guy friends comfort me, like Erwin. I'd realize he's a great guy and that he's had a crush on me for the longest time. We'd fall in love and get married. Then Eren begs me to take him back, to which my reply would be 'I've moved on'. I slam the door in his face and Erwin and I would make rough and passionate love together. Leading to my pregnancy and him taking care of me. Then 16+ hours of agonizing childbirth. Only to be granted with the most beautiful blue eyed baby I'd ever seen. We finally go home after a week if being hospitalized and we have the best sex I've ever experienced in my life. That's pretty much what I'd do. 

Eren: Well that was certainly descriptive. Levi is there anything you're not telling me?

Winter: Eren you look pissed. 

Eren: Well thank you Catherine obvious.

Winter: I'm not even going to comment on that one.

Eren: Levi is that what you would really do? Is there something going on between you and Erwin?! Do you have feelings for him?!

Levi: No, no and no. I just want you to feel the same pain I felt when I thought something was going on between you and Mikasa. 

Eren: So you wouldn't move on, marry Erwin, and have the best sex ever?

Levi: Eren, I could never move on from you. I'd never marry Erwin. And no one can make me orgasm like you.

Winter: I'd hate to brake up what seems to be true love, but Levi what would you really do?

Levi: I'd probably just murder them both and make it look like an accident.

Eren: Haha, you're joking right?

Levi: No I'm dead serious. So you'd better not cheat or leave me for Mikasa or any other stupid, fucking, whore, bitch.

Eren: I'd never leave you. (hugs Levi)

Winter: I don't think you have a choice Eren.

Eren: I know I don't. (whispers to Winter)


	12. Don't Leave Me

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Eren to act like he died and see how Levi reacts.

Eren: That's harsh. 

Winter: But I'd love to see his reaction. Now let's get you all bloodied up.

10 min later 

Winter: Ok Eren you know the drill, stay quiet, and don't move. How long can you hold your breath?

Eren: A good five minutes.

Winter: That's perfect and the blood is so convincing. This is going to be so great.

Eren: I don't know how I feel about this. I mean it seems kind of extreme don't you think?

Winter: Oh come on, don't wimp out on me now. A dare is a dare, and you know the penalty of not taking a dare. You have to run down the street completely naked, and I don't think children, their mothers, and policemen would appreciate that.

Eren: Fine you heartless bitch. 

Winter: That title belongs to Annie sweetie. Now lay down and shut up. LEVI! LEVI COME IN HERE QUICK! 

Levi: What do you want now... OH GOD EREN! WHAT HAPPENED?! (pushes Winter out of the way)

Winter: I-I don't know! I just came in here and saw him! (fake panics)

Levi: Oh Eren, why? Why?! I loved you so much.(drops head on Eren's chest and starts sobbing) What did you do Eren? You didn't deserve this. We don't deserve this. I can't live without you. There's so much I wanted to do with you. We were supposed to get married, have a family, and grow old together. But now we can't. I didn't even get to tell you something that I've wanted to for weeks. I'm so sorry I waited so late, that I couldn't tell you earlier. But I was so nervous about what you would say. I didn't know if you would accept it or not. I was afraid you would leave me for it. But I'm pregnant.

Eren: WHAT?!

Levi: I knew you were faking you fucking liar.

Eren: How did you know?

Levi: For one, I felt your pulse. And you were covered in blood, but I couldn't find one wound.

Eren: So you're not pregnant? 

Levi: I wouldn't say that.

Eren: So you are?!

Levi: No you idiot, god help your tiny brain that doesn't understand sarcasm.

Winter: I'm so confused.

Levi: Yes, and you suck at doing makeup as well. You couldn't have at least put one stab wound on him?

Winter: Look Bitch Faced McGee, I don't wear makeup so of course I'm not going to be good at it.

Levi: Excuses, excuses, you're just full of excuses. Now Eren and Winter get out of here before I stab you both to death for trying to prank me like that.

Eren and Winter: Ok(runs away)

Levi: Shitty brats.


	13. Freaky Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is a dick in this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 540 hits and 26 kudos! Thanks so much for the love and support.

Shingeki_No_Ereri: Okay, so, what about a dare for the two of those dorks to have Hanji (by some odd means) switch their personalities? Meaning Eren acts like Levi and Levi acts like Eren. And they have to be like that for a week (Lolz). NO COMPLAINTS! Shock collars for complaints.... heheheheheh. ( I AM NOT CRAZY.... who am I kidding, OF COURSE I AM! >:D )

Winter: Well this is gonna be interesting.

Levi: I have to act like this idiot. All I have to do is constantly scream Titans.

Eren: And all I have to do is make a bunch of shitty jokes and constantly clean. 

Levi: I really don't wanna do this. 

Winter: No complaints! (presses button)

Levi: Ow! When the hell did you put these shock collars on us?!

Winter: That's not of importance. Now let's get started. Hanji they're ready! 

Hanji: Great, now Eren and Levi I'm gonna need you to take these pills. Afterwards kiss, then your personalities will switch. 

Eren: Why do we have to do this. My friends will never let me live this down if I act like him for a week.

Levi: And my squad will never respect me again if I acted like this idiot. 

Eren and Levi: Ow! What the fuck!

Levi: Stop shocking us will ya?

Winter: Stop complaining will ya? Now take the pills and make out so you can turn into your lover.

Eren and Levi took the pills and kissed.

Eren: (looks at Winter and Hanji) You look constipated you shitty brats.

Winter: So it worked?

Eren: Don't ask stupid questions you worthless little shit.

Levi: When is training so we can kill the TITANS?

Winter: Uh...

Levi: Titans! TIIIITTAAAAANNS!(runs outside)

Eren: That fucking idiot. 

Winter: This is gonna be a long week.

Day 2 

Petra: Captain, are you alright sir?

Levi: Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for asking Petra.

Oulo: Captain-

Levi: Call me Levi.

Oulo: Levi, why are you being so nice today?

Levi: I'm always nice aren't I? I'm just in a really good mood.

Petra: Well sir, we need to come up with a plan for the next Titan operation.

Levi: TITANS, KILL ALL OF THEM!(runs out of room screaming)

Petra: What is wrong with the captain?

Oulo: I not quite sure.

Day 4 

Mikasa: Eren you've been a dick lately. 

Eren: At least I'm completely regular with my bowel movements, unlike some people.

Mikasa: You sound like your good for nothing boyfriend.

Eren: Don't insult Levi you shitty brat.

Mikasa: I don't like what he's turned you into.

Eren: And I don't like your crappy attitude but you don't hear me complaining.

Mikasa: You know what? Screw you Eren.

Eren: That's Levi's job sweetheart. 

Jean: What's up with the attitude Jaeger? Haven't gotten laid in a while?   
Eren: Well I would bang you but I'm not into bestiality.

Jean: Dick!

Eren: I just told you I'm not into horse dick.

Armin: Eren, stop it!

Eren: Shut up Barbie.

Mikasa: Let's go guys he's being a jerk.

Eren: And the award for realizing the most obvious thing goes to.. Mikasa. 

Day 6 

Winter: Hey Eren, why are you walking like that?

Eren: My ass is sore. And do you know how dirty sex is? It's pretty fucking disgusting. 

Winter: Oh I see. So switching your personalities must have switched your sex life as well. So tell me Eren, how does it feel to bottom for a change.

Eren: It's a pain in the ass. Levi is aggressive.

Winter: Well you're just as aggressive when you're doing it to him.

Eren: Yeah but he's use to it. Plus he like it hard and rough.

Winter: TMI, I'm leaving. 

Eren: Whatever brat. 

Day 7 

Winter: Change back day, finally I thought this day would never come.

Eren: But this was all your idiotic fault, so you deal with it.

Levi: Yeah, and you didn't even let kill any Titans. Titan. TITANS! 

Eren: Sit your a dumbass down you worthless piece of shit. 

Levi: Ok

Winter: Hanji, please change them back!

Hanji: Alright Eren and Levi take these and kiss again, then you should go back to normal.

They did just as Hanji said.

Winter: Did it work? 

Levi: You know how I feel about you consistently asking idiotic questions, so keep your mouth closed. And if you ever do this again I'll castrate the both of you. I don't care if you are girls, I'll find a way.(storms off)

Eren: What up babe, what are we going to do about the TIIIITTAAAAANNS?(chases after Levi)

Winter: I'm just glad they're back to normal.

Hanji: I thought it was kind of fun, seeing them switch personalities like that.

Winter: Yeah, but you didn't have to deal with Eren's shitty comments. We're never doing that again and that's final.

Hanji: Alright fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was actually really confusing to write. Switched personalities kind of mess with your brain.


	14. Opposite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushed smut, really sorry.

Attack_on_fandomd69: They should have a dare where Eren has to do the opposite of everything Levi says or tells him to do. Let's see how Levi reacts when Eren is the most disobedient boyfriend ever. Oh and Levi can't know about any of this.

Eren: This is either gonna get me in trouble or killed. 

Winter: Regardless it's going to be very interesting. 

Levi: Eren! There you are, come on we have to go clean. 

Eren: ...

Levi: Eren, are you coming or not?

Eren: No

Levi: Excuse me? Repeat that Eren.

Eren: ...

Levi: Answer me!

Eren: ...

Levi: You sack of shit, just don't talk to me. (storms off)

Winter: You know you have to follow him now, right? 

Eren: Yeah I know.(follows Levi) Hey Levi, wait up.

Levi: Oh so now you're talking to me.

Eren: Yeah sorry about that.

Levi: I really don't wanna hear it Eren, leave me alone. 

Eren: So how was your day?

Levi: Can you not comprehend what I am saying? Leave me alone!

Eren: I can't

Levi: And tell me why you can't.

Eren: I can't

Levi: Ok fine, I'll see you later tonight.(leaves Eren)   
Later at night 

Eren and Levi are laying in bed together. 

Eren: Levi-

Levi: I'm pissed off Eren, just don't. 

Eren: Come on babe. (reaches for Levi)

Levi: No Eren don't touch me. We are not having make up sex when you haven't even apologized for the way that you acted today. 

Eren: Babe~ (kisses Levi)

Levi: Eren stop

Eren: But you just look so irresistible. (kisses Levi longer and gets on top of him)

Levi: Eren p-please, I'm n-not in the mood for t-this. 

Eren: (smirks) That's not what your body is saying. I'm mean look at this beautiful skin. (snakes his hand under Levi's skin)

Levi: Oh.. Eren

Eren: You're so beautiful when you're like this.

Time skip to the actual smut 

Levi: Oh.. god Eren.. so good!

Eren: Mmh! You like that? 

Levi: Uh.. faster Eren! 

Eren: Why did you have to say that Levi? (slows down)

Levi: Why are you slowing down? I said speed up.

Eren: ...

Levi: And now you're going even slower. What the hell is the matter with you today? Wait a second, are you doing the opposite of everything I say? Ah to hell with it. Slower Eren!  
AH! Softer! UGH! Oh Eren! 

Eren: Ngh.. Levi I'm so glad.. Ah.. that you finally figured it out.

Levi: Mmm.. me too.. oh Eren.. Oh Eren! OH EREN!

Eren: I love it when you scream my name. I'm so close. 

Levi: Me too.

Eren: We'll cum together. 1 Ngh

Levi: 2 Huh

Eren: 3

Levi: Mmmmm.. Ahh.. Errreeen! 

Eren: Levi.. so good. 

After sex 

Eren: That was fantastic. 

Levi: Yeah, but if you ever disobey me like that, I'll cut off your dick.

Eren: Understood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm saving the real smutty smut for an upcoming chapter.


	15. If I Die Young

YaoiIsLife: Eren, what would you do if Levi died? :3

Winter: So many questions about death. 

Levi: Yeah and I can't wait to see what this idiot is gonna say.

Eren: Hey!

Levi: What you know you're an idiot, so why are you even offended?

Eren: Thanks so much for the support babe.

Levi: You're welcome hun.

Winter: Back to the question, Eren what would you do? 

Eren: Well if anything were to happened to my darling boyfriend I would fall into a deep depression. I wouldn't be able to eat or even leave the house. Everyone would probably try to help me get over it but I would just find them all annoying. Months later I still wouldn't be ok. I'd act normal around my friends, but it would all be fake. Sooner or later I would end my life to be with my love.

Levi: Are you crazy? You better not even think about doing that, ever!

Eren: But Levi-

Levi: Would you want me to end my life of you died?

Eren: No

Levi: Exactly, now promise me you'll never think of suicide as an option. No matter what the circumstance you are in.

Eren: I promise, but only if you do the same. 

Levi: I promise too. (hugs Eren)

Winter: Well that's both sweet and depressing. 

Levi: Shut up and stop ruining our moment. 

Winter: Fine whatever, jerks.


	16. Lick My Lolita

YaoiIsLife: I dare Levi to wear a cute pink lolita dress and seduce Eren. :3

Levi: What the fuck is a lolita dress?

Winter: Something you'd look adorable in. 

Levi: Where are we even going to get the dress?

Winter: I have one in my closet. 

Levi: Of course you do. 

Winter: You don't seem at all phased that you have to wear a dress. 

Levi: I've crossed dressed before, so I'm used to it. 

Winter: Please tell me more about your kinky sex life. 

Levi: Shut up you yaoi obsessed freak, and help me get on the dress.

Time skip 

Winter: How do you feel? 

Levi: This thing is fucking hot and tight. Why do people wear these? And was the hat and stocking necessary? 

Winter: Because is fucking adorable and girls can take a little pain. And yes, they are absolutely necessary. 

Levi: Such odd creatures you women are. 

Winter: And that's why you're gay, we all know. Now I'm gonna leave, you get in position. (leaves the room)

Levi: Why an I even doing this?(lays on the bed and waits for Eren)

Eren: (opens the door) Babe you wouldn't believe the day I had. (looks at Levi) What are you wearing? 

Levi: Oh just a little something special. You like? 

Eren: I..uh..you..uh

Levi: I'll take that as a yes.(pats the bed) Now why don't you lay down and tell me all about your day.

Eren did just as Levi said. 

Levi: So, what happened Eren~ (tracing images on Eren's chest)

Eren: I.. well.. Jean was being.. uh.

Levi: Are you alright?

Eren: Yeah.. yeah I'm fine. It's just.. uh.

Levi: It's just what, babe? (looks down at Eren bulge) What do we have here? (snakes hand down to Eren's pants) Is that what the problem is, why you're so flustered? Hum Eren, tell me.

Eren: Sexy

Levi: I'm sorry, what was that? 

Eren: I can't take it anymore! (jumps on Levi and claims him)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, the good smut will be in a soon coming chapter.


	17. Levi vs Shelf

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Levi to try and get some cleaning supplies from a tall shelf, and he can't get Eren to help him.

Winter: So it's a show down between Levi and the shelf huh? I LIKE IT! Levi come show this useless piece of driftwood who's boss!

Levi: Why do I have to do this again? And how did you even get the supplies on the top shelf?

Winter: Because you were dared to and unlike you my dear Levi, I'm 5 foot 6. So I don't have trouble with shelves. Now go get that bleach, and no help from Eren. 

Levi: Whatever(starts climbing the cabinet)

Eren: LEVI WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Levi:(falls and lands on his ass) OW BITCH! 

Eren: Why were you climbing on our cabinet?

Levi: I was trying to get the bleach that's on the top shelf, until you rudely interrupted. Which made me fall on my ass you asswipe!

Eren: Why didn't you ask me to get it? (walks towards the shelf)

Winter: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! 

Eren: What the hell was that?!

Winter: You can't help him, it's part off the dare.

Eren: Well why didn't you just say that instead of screaming in my ear you crazy bitch?!

Winter: I don't know, I just felt like screaming. 

Eren: You need psychological help.(walks away)

Winter: What's your next plan Levi?

Levi: Chair(grabs a chair and puts in in front of shelf)

Winter: I won't do that if I were you.

Levi: Shut up! (jumps on chair, slips, and falls on his face)

Winter: You can't jump on a chair with a tiled floor under it. You'll slip, which you just did. (laughs)

Levi: Thanks Catherine obvious.

Winter: What's with you and Eren saying that? You know what, I still don't want to know.

Levi: I've had enough of this!(grabs a broom and starts hitting the cabinet) I am so fucking tired of this mother fucking useless piece of trash making me look like a little bitch! 

Winter: Levi calm down. 

Levi: No! Shut up bitch!(shelf brakes and the bleach falls to the ground.) Victory!

Winter: Yeah and it only took the complete destruction of one of your cabinets. Eren's going to be pissed.

Eren: What the hell was all that noise?! Levi did you just destroy one of our cabinets?! Really Levi?! Really?!

Levi: Uh...

Eren: It's gonna take me forever to fix this mess. I honestly don't know why I put up with you sometime.

Levi: Wanna have sex? 

Eren: I'm suddenly starting to remember why.

Winter: Can I watch? 

Eren and Levi: NO!


	18. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm shitty as fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I stop failing at life?

It's winter and been a bad bad person. I haven't updated in almost a week and I apologize. I'm an insomniac so I suffer from constant sleep deprivation. My mind hasn't been functioning like it should.

Right now of this moment I have 11 dares/truths to write, and I'd prefer to have them all written and posted at once. So please bear with me while I get these chapters out ASAP.


	19. Chandelier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is Sia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm still working on the dare/truths and I should be done in like 4 days. There is a lot of smut to be written, I'm on overload right now. So I'm posting some oneshots I wrote a while ago to hold you guys off.

Levi: I push it down, I push it dowwwnn.

Eren: (sees Levi standing on a chair, with a fan above him) Levi what are you doing."

Levi: One two three, one two three drink. One two three, one two three drink. One two three, one two three drink. Throw em back til I can't count. 

Eren: Levi, no!

Levi: IIII'mm gonna swiiing from the chan.de.li.er, from the chan.del.li.errrrr. (jumps onto fan and starts swinging)

Eren: Levi get down right now! It's bad enough that you were reenacting 'Elastic Heart' with Erwin the other day. But now your doing chandelier too. How many times do I have to tell you, you're not Sia?!

Levi: Feel my tears as they drr- awwwww. (fan snaps and Levi falls on his head.)

Eren: LEVI! (rushes to Levi)

Levi: Ow Eren, that really hurt.

Eren: Is there anything I can do to help? 

Levi: Well I always feel better when. you. talk dirty to me. 

Eren: I'm done with you.


	20. Super Bowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do these exist? From now on I'm just going to write ridiculous stuff in them.

Eren: Levi the game is starting!

Levi: I'm coming!(walks in the room)

Eren: (sees Levi wearing a Seahawks jerseys) Levi what are you wearing?

Levi: A Seahawks jersey. Wait, why are you wearing a Patriots jersey?

Eren: Obviously because the Patriots are gonna win.

Levi: Sorry Eren, but the Seahawks are gonna win.

Eren: Levi, sweetheart, I think I know a little more about football than you.

Levi: You wanna put your money where your mouth is.

Eren: Sure, loser has to were a Katy Perry costume and sing 'I kissed a boy'.

Levi: Deal

Eren: Get ready to embarrass yourself. 

After the game

Levi: Eren, get out here and sing for me~

Eren comes out in an ice cream bra and a tight mini skirt.

Eren: I kissed a boy and I like it. Got all the honeys in the crowd excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Seahawks didn't win, get off my case.


	21. Time of Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi ho hi ho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feels man, the feels~

Levi: It was all your fault! 

Eren: How the hell is it my fault?!

Levi: You're the one who fucking told Erwin about us and now he's threatening to kill you!

Eren: I had to tell him! He kept making passes at you, and frankly, that pissed me off!

Levi: Who cares if he was hitting on me?! It's not like I would have done anything with him.

Eren: Well I honestly don't know about that.

Levi: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW! YOU THINK I WOULD CHEAT ON YOU WITH EYEBROWS!

Eren: Yeah, and I'm pretty sure you are right now! Otherwise you wouldn't be so upset!

Levi: You know what Eren, just get out.

Eren: What?!

Levi: I said get out you fucking piece of trash! You nothing but an abomination to humanity! This is why we kill animals like you, fucking titan!

Eren: ...(walks out the door)

Levi: Eren wait I didn't mean it! Ugh

Eren's pov

I went to my room and slammed the door. "I can't believe Levi said that! I can't help being a titan! If Smith was here I would kill him!"

"You would what?" I turned and saw Erwin smirking. 

"Erwin, what are you doing here?"

"Doing something that I should have a while ago." He pulled out a knife from his pocket. 

'Oh no'

Levi's pov 

'Damn, I was an asshole to Eren. I basically said he should die. I have to apologize.' I went to Eren's room and knocked on the door. "Eren we need to talk." No one answered. "Eren open up!" Still no answer. "Eren! You have five seconds to open the door before I kick it down. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ok that's it!" I kicked the door open and saw Eren laying on the floor. I rushed to him. There were multiple stab wounds in his chest. 'Who would do such a thing?!' I felt for a pulse, only to come up with nothing. He was gone, tear ran down my face.

"EREN, NO! PLEASE COME BACK! I NEED YOU! I LOVE YOU! I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID! I DIDN'T MEAN ANY OF IT!" The screaming was futile, no matter how hard I yell it wouldn't change anything. He was gone and he's not coming back.


	22. What Color is the Dress?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come and get Eren's titan ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember this stupid fad?

Eren: Levi! Come here!

Levi: What do you want?!

Eren: Just come here!

Levi: (walks in the room) What's up?

Eren: Here(points at computer screen), what color is this dress?

Levi: What are you fucking stupid, you need me to tell you what color things are now?!

Eren: Just tell me what colors do you see?

Levi: I see the colors that everyone should fucking see, which are blue and black. 

Eren: (snickers)

Levi: What's so funny? 

Eren: Nothing, just the fact that you are sad and depressed.

Levi: Come again?

Eren: If you see the dress as black and blue then you're depressed and in a bad mood.

Levi: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Eren: Well it's true.

Levi: Okay smarty pants, what colors do you see?

Eren: It's white and gold. 

Levi: Where the hell do you see white anywhere on that dress?!

Eren: Where do you see blue?!

Levi: Everywhere because that's the color of the fucking dress.

Eren: It's white and gold! 

Levi: It's black and blue! 

Eren: It's white and gold!

Levi: No it's fucking ugly, that's what it is!

Eren: Levi~

Levi: What? 

Eren: That's so mean.

Levi: Well it's true. 

Eren: Why do I even love you?

Levi: I ask myself that question everyday. 

Eren: Hey!


	23. The Dress Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jizz in my pants.

Eren: Levi get your nice ass over here!

Levi: (walks in the room) What do you want, and why are you complementing my ass.

Eren: Do you remember that dress from yesterday? 

Levi: You mean the dress that you so idiotically thought was white and gold.

Eren: That's because it is white and gold. And to prove it I bought the dress,(pulls the dress out and shows it to Levi) see.

Levi: Eren that clearly blue. 

Eren: I don't know~ You might have to try it on, just so I can get a better look.

Levi: Wait, what? *blushes

Eren: I think I need a closer look of the dress in our bedroom lighting. So you should try it on so I can really inspect the it.

Levi: No way! 

Eren: Come on Levi, it's not like you've never crossdressed before. 

Levi: I.. shut up! 

Eren: If you don't put it on then I'll put all your cleaning supplies on the top shelf. 

Levi: Give me the damn dress. *pouts 

5 minutes later 

Eren:(laying on the bed)Levi hurry up already and show me that sexy bod in that sexy dress.

Levi: This dress is ugly Eren!

Eren: Who cares you look hot in anything. 

Levi: (walks in the room) You see, the dress is blue. 

Eren: I'm not quite convinced, turn around. 

Levi: (turns his backside to his lover) You're such a pain.

Eren: (pulls Levi onto the bed and crawls on top of him) What's with that face?

Levi: W-what are you doing? 

Eren: I'm not doing anything(trails his hand up Levi's leg, making him moan).

Time skip brought to you by my lazy ass 

Eren and Levi were laying in the bed panting after an hour of going at it.

Levi: So what color is the dress now?

Eren: Black and blue.

Levi: Oh so now you see black and blue.

Eren: I never saw white and gold in the first place. 

Levi: WHAT?!

Eren: I planned this whole thing so you could fulfill my dress kink.

Levi: I hate you.

Eren: No you don't, you love me~ And you probably wanna go another round. 

Levi:*blushes

Eren: Levi~

Levi: Shut up and kiss me.

Eren: I knew it.

Eren and Levi went at it over and over until they passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one of the oneshots, I'll get the real stuff up by the weekend.


	24. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this on my phone.

Right now I'm in the hospital with a 103° fever since of late night yesterday. I can't really update the 10 chapters I wrote cuz they're on my computer at home. I might rewrite one of them on my phone and post it today because I feel so bad for not updating in a while.


	25. Ears Can Turn On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sexy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who can write and be sick as well, germs won't stop me.

SupaKawaiiDesu: I dare Levi to put on cat ears and a tail and act like a cat :3

Winter: Levi's goin all furry now!

Levi: I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but what is a furry? 

Winter: The final stage in your transformation. 

Levi: Just give me the fucking ears and tail.

Winter: Oh no no no, we're steppin this up.

Levi: What do you mean?

Winter: I'm gonna make you a sexy kitty. Cat ears, tail, shorts, crop top, makeup, let's make this happen. 

Levi: How do you have all this girly shit when you're a tomboy?

Winter: My mother buys them to get me out of my tomboyish gothic ways,  which will never happen. Enough about me let's get you into these booty shorts.

Time skip 

Winter: Levi what is taking so long in there?!

Levi: My dick won't fit in these jean shorts!

Winter: TMI Levi, they're tight for a reason. And that reason is to turn on Eren. Now suck it up, suck it in, and squeeze. 

Levi: I don't even know what that means! 

Winter: You fail at being a girl Levi.

Levi: Well I sure hope so!

Winter: I'm coming in there to help you.

Levi: No! No, I already got them on.

Winter: Well what the hell are you waiting for? Get out and show me.

Levi: I truly dislike you.(steps out of bathroom) Are you happy now?

Winter: Very, but not as happy as Eren will be. Who knew a crop top would look so good on you?

Levi: Good, are you kidding me?! I have a fucking 6 pack, I shouldn't be showing off my stomach. 

Winter: Well so does Mikasa and she wears them, does she not?

Levi: ...

Winter: Thought so. Now let's get this makeup on you before Eren gets home.(pulls out eyeliner) Now look up.

Levi: This feels so weird, what are you doing? 

Winter: I'm getting the waterline,  now shut up and let me work.

Levi: Whatever

Winter: Ok, I finished the smokey eye. Now time for the lip stick and blush... and now you're done.

Levi: I look like sad Humpty Dumpty. 

Winter: You look like sexy Dumpty. 

Eren: Hey Lee-

Winter: Eren what do you think? Does Levi look bad.

Eren: Winter, can you please leave. 

Winter: But-

Eren: Get out. 

Winter: Fine grumpy I'll leave, bye.(leaves) 

Levi: Eren, what's wrong? 

Eren: Levi, why are you always doing this to me?

Levi: Doing what?

Eren: Wearing things like that.

Levi: Do.. do you not like it? 

Eren: No, problem is I like it too much. I just wanna push you against the bed and fuck you till you see stars.

Levi:(smirks) Well, what's stopin ya? Meow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right no smut, that's reserved for next chapter. Wrote this with my parents in the hospital room, let's just say it was awkward.


	26. You Got Me in Chains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a long time to write. This is going to be written in a slightly different format than the others because it's smut.

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Levi to let Eren do anything that he wants to him. ^_^

Eren: I love this dare so much. First, Winter get out of here and no listening in.

Winter: Fine and don't worry about me listening in, I'll get what I want with the next dare that's coming up.

Winter walks out the door, leaving Eren and Levi to themselves. 

Eren: Levi get on the bed. 

Levi surprisingly had a submissive behavior at that very moment and decided to obey Eren's command. Crawling on the bed painfully slow in an attempt to entice his lover. Eren soon followed Levi's trail, pushing the smaller male into the mattress and leaving an imprint of the petite figure. Eren took ahold of both Levi's wrist in his one hand and placed them above his head, dangerously close to the metal headboard.

Eren: I think this will be a great time to try out some kinks. 

The brunette gave a devilish smirk and reached into his back pocket with his free hand, pulling out an unidentifiable metallic object. Levi could not tell what it was by sight, he was completely reliant on the sound given off. The blare of chain links colliding filled Levi's ear. It sounded fairly similar to prison shackles. As the object beamed from the moon's glow that peaked through a tiny opening in the curtains, Levi's vision became more apparent. He could clearly make out what it was, handcuffs. He was quite apprehensive about the thought of being chained down. 

Levi: Eren what are you gonna do with those? 

The tall brought himself to Levi's neck, whispering and make the raven fidget from the calescent breath on his icy neck.

Eren: You'll see very soon sweetheart. 

Levi couldn't decipher whether he despised Eren's presumptuous attitude or completely adored it. He was brought back into reality when the sound of the handcuffs locking could be heard. Levi was chained to the headboard, feeling very fragile and vulnerable at the moment. Eren's hands left his submissive's wrist, sliding them down the scant body underneath him. He trembled due to Eren touch. When larger's hands stopped at the smaller's hips he tore off his pants with one swift motion, the underwear went along with it. Levi's cheeks reddened as his length sprung up.

Eren: There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You look so sexy restrained like that.

Levi: Shut up

He turned his head away from Eren, but forced to look up again at his bratty boyfriend because of the fingers that we're placed his chin. 

Eren: As you wish, I'll shut myself up with something. 

Eren brought his lips down to Levi's throbbing cock. Bringing his tongue under the skin of the head, swirling and further wetting his member. 

Levi: Mmh.. Er..en if you don't.. AH.. stop I'm gonna cum.

Eren was reluctant to stop. He started to bob his head back and forth, admiring the lewd noises escaping Levi's mouth. He was in complete bliss as he came undone in Eren's mouth. Eren didn't waste any time swallowing this sweet serum Levi had gifted him with.

Eren: That was delicious, was it good for you?

Levi: Yeah.. so good.

Eren: I'm glad to hear because now I want to add to it. Lift your head Levi.

Once again he complied Eren's demand, slightly elevating his head. His vision was absent because of the blindfold placed over his eyes, lessening his perception.

Levi: Eren what are you doing? 

Eren: Why, are you worried? Do you not fully trust me? Or are you scared to not have control off your body?

Levi: I.. uh

Eren: Or perhaps it turns you on?

Eren eyes fall on Eren's anew erect members. 

Eren: You're hard again Levi.

Eren realizes he's a bit overdressed because the situation he is currently in. So he decides to discard all of his clothing. The brunette shoves two fingers in Levi's mouth. 

Eren: Suck

Levi swirled his tongue around the fingers that penetrated his mouth. Repeating a similar technique to when he received a blowjob. When Eren deemed his fingers were wet enough he slipped them out, leaving a trail of saliva behind. Eren placed a finger the entrance, circling it to tease the older.

Levi: Eren will you just.. Ah~

His fingers entered the hole. After a few seconds of fingering Levis hole Eren added the second one. Levi was moaning like a dog in heat.

Eren: You're're a lot more vocal then usually Levi. Is it because the rest of your senses are heightened? Do you feel more pleasure?

Levi didn't respond, which slightly irritated Eren. He jammed his fingers in, puncturing the prostate. The sensation was so overwhelming that jolted up. Which gave Eren the opportunity to snake his hand behind Levi's head, grabbing a fistfull of hair, and pulling it back with brute force.

Levi: AH! Oh Eren!

Eren was stunned to hear such a positive response from Levi, he almost lost his composure. 'So he like pain huh?' Eren thought to himself. He removed his fingers from the hole, earning a whine from the raven. His large hand glided up and scored Levi's shirt open. Eren knew his boyfriend with complain later, but right now he didn't care. He lined his member with the entrance and slowly pushed in. His nails dug into Levi's hips and dragged them down those creamy white thighs, leaving red marks and nail indentations.

Levi: Mmh.. Eren~

As time advanced, so did Eren's speed. Even after they came they didn't stop. Round after round, it went on for two hours until Levi was at his wits end.

Levi: Eren.. Ah.. I c-can any- HA! Anymore.. to much.. OH GOD!

Eren: Mmh.. Levi.. so beautiful. 

Levi: EREN! HA.. KISS ME!

Eren crashed his lips with Levi's, they were met a blazing passion. The moans were masked with the meeting of their tongue. Both of their bodies were glistening with sweat. They were both overheated and overwhelmed. Lust filled them to the brim.

Eren: Levi.. ghn.. I'm close.

Levi: Yesyesyes, OH YES! Me too.. Ah.. together. 

Levi came and with a few more thrust Eren came as well. He collapsed on top of Levi, after a few moments of rest Eren slowly pulled out not wanting worsen the damaged hole. He uncuffed his lover and took on the blindfold. Eren cradled his lover after their hardcore love making session.

Eren: That was amazing. 

Levi: Yeah it was pretty good. 

Eren: We have to do that more often.

Levi: No

Eren: Why?

Levi: Because that was painfully exhausting.

Eren began to pout, Levi couldn't resist his childish boyfriend.

Levi: But if I ever feel kinky, then I'll think about it.

Eren: I love you. 

Levi: I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't ever make me write smut again.


	27. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me.

Papaya_Complex: I dare Eren to describe the last time he had sex with Levi, in detail, but Levi has a duct taped mouth and is tied up, so he can't do or say anything.

Winter: Hanji you got Levi all tied up?

Hanji: Yeah, duct tape and everything. 

Levi: Mmh!

Winter: Good, Eren go ahead. 

Eren: Well the first thing you guys need to know about Levi is that he's a screamer. Loudest guy I've ever fucked. It's such a turn on. 

Levi: MMMMMMHHHHHH! 

Eren: See, listen to him scream. It does things to me. The last time we fucked was because of a dare. I was allowed to do anything I wanted to him. I remember it like it was yesterday. 

Winter: It was yesterday. 

Eren: Anyway, it was our first time trying out bondage. And let me tell you, I think I found one of my kinks.

Levi: Mmmhh!

Eren: Oh Levi, don't act like you didn't love it. You were so vocal I thought you were gonna pass out. I wouldn't be surprised if someone heard us.

Winter: Yeah, I would be surprised if someone didn't hear you moaning like a bitch Levi. I bet you gave someone of the guys in the castle some great noises to jerk off to.

Eren: Then came the blindfold. God, I didn't think it was possible to make things hotter, I was wrong. As soon as his vision was gone his voice amplified. It turned you on even more Levi didn't it? To not be able to see what was being done to your body. To not be able to stop it because your hands were tied. Being able to only rely on on your senses that weren't obstructed. Face it Levi, you'll loved ever second of it. To have me gain your body's control while you lost it.

Levi: ...(blushes)

Eren: And what about the hair pulling and scratching? What about when I grabbed a handful of that beautiful raven hair and yanked it back? The moan the escaped your lips was so lewd, it just made me harder. And when I ran my nails across your skin not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave red marks. You were screaming not in pain but in pleasure, in ecstasy. I never imagined that my boyfriend would be a masochist. This secret world keep from me that we could have explored a long time ago. Pain into pleasure, rough sex a complete turn on. When I discovered all his little kinks, every little thing that made him tick, it was a wild ride. We must've been at it for a good two hours, like fifteen rounds. I didn't even know I had that in me, must be a titan thing. All I know is at the end Levi was over stimulated and completely wreaked. All I can say is that we'll definitely be doing that more often. Ok I'm done telling my story, Winter you can untie Levi now.

Winter: ...

Eren: Earth to Winter, are you alright? 

Winter: Yeah.. Yeah, I-I'm fin.. FINE! Just.. a little.. turned on.

Hanji: I don't blame ya sister. Now Eren, that is some great jerking off material. I would pay you to tell me sex stories between you and Levi. 

Eren: Well I'm glad you liked my story.(grabs Levi and put him over his shoulder) We'll be in my room. 

Levi: Mmh!(blushing)

Winter: Wait, shouldn't you untie him and take the duck tape off.

Eren: No, I have a new kink I wanna try out. Let's see how well you do with gags.


	28. Pills and Potions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That cocaine man

flutteringbutterfly: I dare Levi to get revenge on Eren, do whatever he wants, then heal him with a potion.

Winter: Isn't Eren a Titan so he heals automatically? 

Levi: Yeah, but imma do it anyway. 

Winter: Whatever do what you want.

Levi: Damn right I will. 

Eren: Hey babe! Why are you smiling like that?

Levi: Oh no specific reason. Can I have a kiss?

Eren: Sure, of course!(bends down to kiss Levi and gets punched on the face) Ow, what the hell Levi?!

Levi: What?

Eren: You just punched me in the face!

Levi: Well you deserve it.

Eren: What did I do?

Levi: I don't know. (walks away)

Eren: What's wrong with him?

Winter: I don't know, must be on his man period. Oh and Eren, your face is emitting smoke. 

Eren: Damn, he broke my jaw.

Winter: Oh boo hoo, you're a titan. Not everyone can regenerate like you, ya selfish bitch. 

Eren: I think you're on your man period. 

Winter: I'm a girl! 

Eren: Or so you say?

Winter: Fuck you Jaeger! Now I hope Levi beats the shit outta you!(storms off)

Eren: Psh whatever, wait what?

Levi: Oh Eren~

Eren: Oh shit!(runs away)

Levi: Babe come back, I wasn't gonna do anything with this knife.

X(means time skip)

Eren: I'm telling you Mikasa, he's trying to kill me. 

Mikasa: Ok

Eren: Do you even care?!

Mikasa: You're the one dumb enough to stay in the relationship. So to answer your question, no I don't care.   
Eren: Heartless bitch, OW! 

Levi: Hi dear

Eren: THE HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME FOR?!

Levi: Eren, watch your fucking language. 

Eren: Not even gonna comment, not even gonna. 

Levi: Here you big baby.(throws powder on Eren)

Eren: What was that? 

Levi: Something to make you stop crying, byes.

X

Levi: Here(hands Eren paper)

Eren: What's this? 

Levi: The dare I was assigned today. 

Eren: You mean to tell me that you have been torturing and throwing this weird powder on me, that frankly might I add looks like cocaine, because of a stupid dare?

Levi: Yep

Eren: And what exactly did you want to get revenge for? 

Levi: Oh I don't know, I just felt like doing it, ya know? 

Eren: No Levi I don't know! That is complete bullshit! 

Levi: Don't you raise your voice with me Eren Jaeger! 

Eren: But you're doing the exact same thing! 

Levi: That's because I'm your captain. 

Eren: Ya, and who tops? 

Winter: Oooooooo, Levi you just got topped, literally.


	29. Baby Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnant?!

AleskaSmith: I dare Eren to trick Levi into thinking he's pregnant.

Winter: Ooookay, I guess you could say it's a titan thing. 

Eren: Yeah, but I top. There's now why he'd believe it.

Winter: Yeah, you're right. Oh wait! 

Eren: Oh wait what?

Winter: Remember that one time you and Levi switched personalities. 

Eren: Yeah? 

Winter: I remember that's one time he you bottomed. Just use that.

Eren: Fine

X

Eren: Levi there's something I have to tell you. 

Levi: And what would that be?

Eren: I'm pregnant. 

Levi: Yeah and I'm Ricky Martin. 

Eren: Who?

Levi: A hot gay guy, moving on. Like I'd believe your pregnant. If anyone had a chance of being pregnant it would be me. You don't even take the dick up your ass.

Eren: That one time we switched personalities I did, and that's when it happened. 

Levi: Oh yeah, so that explains it.

Eren: Explains what?

Levi: Why you've been on the gaining some weight. I mean your stomach is already showing. I thought you were just eating to much and not exercising. I was about to put you on a diet but not anymore. 

Eren: Gaining weight? 

Levi: Yeah, and the mood swings have been hell. There have been times when I honestly wanted to rip your head off because of the you've been acting. You've been like an angsty teenager lately. I was thinking about breaking up with you. 

Eren: Break up?

Levi: Yeah, but I guess I'm stuck with you now. You and this child.

Eren: I'm not pregnant you ass!

Levi: I know. 

Eren: What do you mean you know?

Levi: Eren that was five months ago. Don't you think you should have started showing by now? Whoever told you to use that excuse is a  complete moron. I would have said something like Hanji implanted embryo inside me.

Eren: Why didn't I think of that?

Levi: Because you're completely lost without me. I'm the brains of this relationship. And Eren, if anyone is caring or child it gonna be me. You're reckless and I don't think you'll take good care of yourself while our child is in you. Plus bitch and moan over every little injury you get. So how are you gonna handle the pain that is childbirth?

Eren: I can't 

Levi: Exactly


	30. He's How Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is depressed.

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Levi and Eren to go to the mall and ask at least three people how old they think Levi is. No matter what age they say, after they say it, Eren has to say, "I've tapped that" XD 

Levi: Why are we doing this?

Winter: Because it's going to be absolutely hilarious.

Hanji: How how old do you think they'll say Levi is?

Winter: I'll say 16.

Hanji: I feel more like 14.

Levi: Fuck you! 

Eren: Excuse me, that's my job. 

Levi: Shut up and let's get this over with. 

Eren: Ok, let's do it. 

X

Eren: Ma'am, my name is Eren and this is Levi.

Lisa: Nice to meet you, mines Lisa.

Eren: Well Lisa, if I may ask you a question. How old do you think Levi is?

Lisa: Hmm.. I'd say he looks about 13.

Eren: Well I've tapped dat.

Lisa: Uh.. and how old are you. 

Eren: 23

Lisa: Well if you ask me, I don't believe it's appropriate to have a sexual relationship with someone so young. But you do what you want.(walks away)

Levi: Well that was depressing. 

Eren: Oh chin up Levi. 

Levi: She thought was I was child.

Eren: Yeah, and she thought I was a pedophile.

Levi: I guess that's worse. 

Eren: Ya think? 

X

Levi: Hey you, my name's Levi and this is Eren.

Zack: Well I'm Zack, is there anything I can help you with?

Levi: Yes there is actually, how old do you think I am?

Zack: I don't know, maybe 11 or 12.

Levi: Really? 

Eren: Well I've pounded da ass.

Zach: Are you sick! What are you his teacher or something? What kind of man prays on a kid for sex?! I outta kick your ass!

Levi: Nononono, it's ok. I'm actually 26 years old. 

Zack: What, really? I am genuinely shocked. Sorry about that Eren.

X 

Levi: I don't wanna do this anymore. 

Eren: Neither do I.

Winter: Oh grow a pair and shove it down your throat. 

Levi: What?!

Winter: You heard me.

Levi: Whatever, let's just finish this. Hey girl, how.. oh god it's you.

Mikasa: Yeah, it's me shorty. Now what do you want?

Levi: I wanted to know how old you think I am?

Mikasa: Oh, you want me to say how old I think you are? I've been waiting for this opportunity for so long.

Levi: Just fucking answer the question. 

Mikasa: I think you're like 5. A 5 years old with shitty attitude and shitty humor. 

Eren: Well I fucked da ass so hard, so hard Mikasa. You don't even know.

Mikasa: Ew, so gross.

Levi: And it was so good. It feels like you're in heaven. He can make me come with just his dick alone, and that is impressive. You wish you had a sex god of a boyfriend like Eren.

Mikasa: I have Armin, and nerds tend to be better in bed.

Eren and Levi: Eww, gross.

Winter: I think that's hot. 

Levi: I think your fucked up.

Winter: I like what I like, and no one cares what you think.

Mikasa: I agree

Levi: Shut up Mikasa! 

Mikasa: What'd you say midget? 

Levi: Fuck you!

Eren: Hey, I already told you that's my job.


	31. The Script

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smutty fanfiction are my life support.

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Eren and Levi to read a smutty fanfiction Hanji writes about them! I know, I am so evil XD AND THEY HAVE TO PUT FEELING INTO IT! ;D

Winter: Oh god, this is gonna be so hot. 

Hanji: I just finished writing the fanfic. 

Eren: We just read this dare literally a minute ago. How could you have written it so quickly?

Hanji: Oh I write Ereri fanfics in my spare time. 

Levi: So fucking weird.

Hanji: Ok, I wrote this one without any narration. So it'll just be Eren and Levi reading this. Levi it starts with you, and action. 

Levi: Eren I'm horny, fuck me. 

Eren: How bad do you want my cock, you little slut?(growls)

Levi: So bad, I want you to wreak me, take away my innocence. I can't do this anymore, I quit! 

Winter: Levi stop! 

Levi: No, fuck you! This is fucking embarrassing! 

Winter: Why can't you put that same amount of emotion into the script? Stop being a baby then read the damn thing! And if you don't put any emotion in it, I'll have Eren fuck you while you try to read it.

Levi: You little bitch. 

Winter: Yes and am, now just skip to the sex scene. In three, two, one, action. 

Levi: Kill me now.(murmurs) Oh! Eren right there! 

Eren: So good, so tight. 

Levi: Ah! Oh god! Yes, Yes, YES! FUCK, FUCK ME SO HARD!

Eren: Mmh.. oh Levi, so beautiful. 

Levi: Harder.. harder.. Ah! Harder.. OH YEAH! Mmh.. harder!

Eren: Levi.. ha.. so close. 

Levi: Me too.. OH.. Erenereneren!

Eren: Ahhhh!

Levi: Ereeeeeeeeen~ Soooo gooood~

Winter: Top notch you two. Take five and we'll read another one. 

Levi: What?! No way in hell, I'm out.

Winter: He's got a stick up his ass.

Eren: No, he's got a dick up his ass, and it's mine.

Winter: I love you Eren.

Eren: Sorry sweetheart, I'm taken.

Levi: Yeah, he's taken!


	32. Pose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too sexy for straight.

Attack_on_fandoms69: I dare Eren and Levi play the laying down game all over town. The catch is they have to dress in rainbow outfits that say #lovewins and lay down in a really sexual pose.

Winter: Isn't that just planking?

Eren: Yeah, I think it is.

Levi: I'm not wearing a rainbow outfit.

Winter: Come on Levi, show that gay pride. 

Eren: Yeah Levi, show that gay pride. You're not ashamed to be with me are you?

Levi: No, of course not.

Winter: Great, so you'll do it?

Levi: Fine

Eren: Yeah, well it's not like you even had a choice in the first place.

Levi: Fuck you

Eren: Give me a time and a place.

Winter: Ok before you guys start an orgy in the mall, I think we should get this dare over with. Eren, you get the rainbow shirt with with the hashtag written on the chest. And Levi, you get the pants with it written on the butt. 

Levi: Why do I get the pants?

Winter: Cuz you've got a nice ass. 

Eren: I don't what people staring at his butt.

Levi: Jealous huh? Now I'm definitely wearing them.

Eren: You're so cruel.

Winter: Ok Levi, you're up first. Show off that ass.

Levi: Ugh fine(walks away and poses)

Eren: What is he doing?

Winter: I think you he's a doing great job. On the ground, sexy pose, he's got it nailed.

Eren: A little too sexy if you ask me. Does he have to stick out his butt like that? It makes it look too big, and draws too much attention.

Winter: Get over it Eren. Wait, maybe you're right. Looks like like he is drawing a lot of attention.

Eren: See! Look at all the guys are staring at his butt. That ass belongs to me! And now they're whistling and cat calling to.

Winter: Looks like some guy is walking up to him now. Oh, and he's pretty hot. Scratch that, he's a fucking hunk.

Eren: That's it!(goes up to Levi and throws him over his shoulder)

Levi: Eren what the fuck?! Put me down! What's your problem?!

Eren: You were drawing way too much attention in that seductive pose.   
Winter: You're a fucking buzz kill. Look who's coming back. 

Jacob: Hey my name is Jacob, what's your sweetie?

Levi: I'm Levi

Jacob: Well hot stuff, would you like to go out sometime?

Eren: If you don't get away from my boyfriend I will snap your neck!(growls)

Jacob: Jealous boyfriend huh? Well take my number if decide to ditch this loser.(hands paper to Levi)

Eren: (grabs paper and rips it) He's not interested.

Jacob: Fine I can take a hint, bye cutie.(leaves)

Levi: You're pretty hot when your possessive. And it's your turn to pose.

Eren: Ok, well I'm off.(poses in the middle of the mall) 

Levi: God he's so hot, look at the way he puffs out his chest. It really shows off his abs.

Winter: Oh I know, and I'm not the only one.

Levi: What do you mean? 

Winter: Look around Eren not just him.

Levi: Why are there so many girls around him.

Winter: Do I really need to answer that question?

Levi: No, I'm pissed!(walks up to Eren) Hey stupid, let's go."

Eren: Why?

Levi: I don't need to explain myself to you.

Natasha: Hi my name's Natasha and I think you're really hot. I want you to take me out to dinner.

Levi: Bitch I will cut you if you don't get away from my boyfriend. And who the hell ask someone out like that?

Natasha: I do, and how was I supposed to know he was gay?

Levi: I know you might be slightly stupid but there's no way anyone can be that much of a fucking idiot. He's wearing a rainbow shirt that says #lovewins. How much clearer does it have to be?

Natasha: I don't need to deal with your bitchy attitude I'm leaving. 

Levi: Thank you!

Eren: You're so adorable when you're jealous.

Levi: Let's just go home.

Eren: Ok babe


	33. No Sexy Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is a needy little shit.

Hikari245: I dare Levi not to sleep or have sex with Eren.

Levi: I think that's going to be more of a punishment for Eren than me.

Eren: But I was planning to have sex and cuddle today.

Winter: Well too bad Eren. 

Eren: But I'm so horny. 

Levi: That's what masturbation is for.

Eren: Ew, don't say that word. 

Levi: You're such a child. 

Winter: Well since I'm not going to get any Ereri action, I will be on my way.(leaves)

Levi: Eren you're sleeping on the floor.

Eren: What, why me?!

Levi: The floor will kill my back.

Eren: And?

Levi: And if you ever want to have sex again my back cannot be thrown out.

Eren: Yeah you're right, I'll take the floor. Goodnight Levi. 

Levi: Night Eren

X

Eren: Psss Levi, are you sleeping? 

Levi: I was 

Eren: Sorry

Levi: What do you want?

Eren: I miss you. 

Levi: We're in the same room. 

Eren: But I wanna spoon you. And fuck you so hard. 

Levi: Shut up Eren.

Eren: Why, does it turn you on? 

Levi: Oh god Eren, please shut up.

Eren: Fine

X

Levi: Eren~

Eren: Yes

Levi: Why are you still up?

Eren: Why are you?

Levi: That's not important, now answer the question.

Eren: I can't sleep, it feel so lonely without you.

Levi: You're a big idiot. (chuckles)

Eren: Don't laugh at my pain.

Levi: I'm not laughing at your pain, I'm laughing at your idiocity.

Eren: So mean(pouts)

Levi: Whatever brat

X

Winter: Eren how was your night? 

Eren: Horrible, I didn't sleep at all. I need my teddy bear to snuggle at night. 

Levi: Stupid(blushes)


	34. My Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's desperation stinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End note explain why this took so long.

A_Cat's_Meow: I dare Levi to endure Erwin /awkwardly/omfg this my chance to finally win Levi's heart/ flirting with him for a whole week, and Eren isn't allowed to do ANYTHING about it but watch. :3

Levi: Kill me now. 

Winter: No Levi, we can kill you later.  
Eren: Can I at least kill Erwin?

Winter: No Eren, you can only watch! Geez, did you even read the dare?

Eren: I can't read.

Winter: Well that sounds like a personal problem. Levi, Eren, Erwin are you ready?!

Erwin: YES!

Eren: No

Levi: I just really wanna die right now.

X

Erwin: Hey Levi, feel my shirt. 

Levi: Why?

Erwin: Just do it.

Levi: (feels Erwin's shirt) Ok.

Erwin: Do you know what that is?

Levi: Uh.. cotton? 

Erwin: No, that's boyfriend material. 

Levi: Oh my god. 

Eren: Ha, you call that a pickup line?

Winter: (hits Eren with a bat) Shut up! You're not allowed to talk.

Eren: Ow, was that really necessary?

Winter: Yes, now watch.

Erwin: Does Eren ever tell you how beautiful are you?

Eren: Yes!

Winter: Hush!

Erwin: Well he's right, you're absolutely gorgeous.

Levi: Uh.. thank you.(blushes)

Eren: (growls)

Erwin: You're so curvy, I'd love to run my hands over that beautiful body. I can do things that Eren wouldn't even attempt.

Levi: I.. uh.. have to go!(runs away)

Erwin: Bye beautiful. 

X

Eren: What was that Levi?

Eren: You were blushing. Do you like him? 

Levi: I was blushing because embarrassed, it was really awkward for me. No way in hell would I like him.

Eren: I'm sorry I doubted you. 

Levi: It's alright. 

X

Erwin: Hey babe~

Levi: I'm not your babe.

Erwin: I would certainly like you to be my babe.

Levi: And I would certainly like you to be less cliche.

Erwin: Your boyfriend is the epitome of cliche.

Levi: Don't talk about Eren like that.

Erwin: Come on Levi you know Eren is not committed to you. You've been dating for what, three years now and he still hasn't popped the question? I would have married you in a heartbeat. If you ask me he's letting a beautiful prize rot away in its casing.

Eren: What did he just say?

Winter: Well he's got a point Eren, it has been a really long time. What are you waiting for?

Eren: I just.. ugh.. I don't have to explain myself to you.

Erwin: So what do you say Levi, will you dump that loser of a boyfriend and take the chance on a real man?

Levi: I already have a real man and I'm not going to let me go. I don't care if we ever get married, I just love being with him.

Erwin: I will win your heart Levi.

Winter: Well you heard him Eren, guess you don't have to marry him after all. 

Eren: I guess not.

Last day 

Erwin: This is your last chance Levi. I promise to love and cherish you every day of our life together if you just give me a chance. I will marry you immediately because I've been in love with you even before you started dating Eren. He's one of those boyfriends Levi. The one that thinks 'I'm already getting everything I want so I commit?', you deserve better.

Levi: Erwin no, I'm not going to leave him. I don't care if he proposes or not. I mean sure it would be nice to get married and have a beautiful wedding, but that's not my main priority. Eren's the love of my life and I would never let him go.

Erwin: Fine, but just letting you know my dick game is pretty strong.

Levi: Oh god, that's gross.

Erwin: Whatever, I'm still not giving up even if the stupid dare is over.(walks away)

Winter: Eren you really need to man up and make a real commitment to Levi like he's made to you.

Eren: I know get off my back, I just don't think I'm ready. 

Winter: Three years, fucking hell Eren. You're gonna loss him, but do you.

Eren: I will(walks over and hugs Levi) You know I love you right?

Levi: Yeah and I love you too. (mumbles)

Eren: What's wrong Levi? 

Levi: Nothing Eren, nothing at all.

Winter: He wants to get married.(talks to herself)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day after I got back from the hospital my girlfriend of 4 months and I broke up. I've been sad and didn't want to do anything except lay in my bed. So that's why I didn't update immediately, sorry for the long ass wait.


	35. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horseface is a donkey.

Attack_on_fandoms69: I dare Eren and Levi to get Jean and Marco back together.

Winter: Oh shit, did they ever get back together?

Eren: I have no idea, Levi?

Levi: I don't know, nor do I care.

Jean: Well ya should care, you heartless bitch!

Levi: What's the matter with you? 

Jean: What's the matter with me? Are you fucking serious right now?! 

Eren: Jean-

Jean: No, fuck you all! It's because of you that Marco hasn't talked to me in months!

Eren: My fault?! You're the one who was doing the flirting! You didn't have to take the dare, you know?

Winter: Actually he did, the penalty of not taking the dare is running around naked. But I think losing Marco is worse than that.

Jean: It is!

Levi: Then why did you do it you fucking idiot?

Jean: Shut up you cunt bitch! 

Eren: Horseface! I know you're pissed off, but don't you ever talk to him like that! If you want us to help you, then I suggest you be a little more respectful.

Jean: Fine, I'm sorry Levi. Now please help me. 

X

Eren: Hey Marco 

Marco: Oh Hello Eren, Levi.

Levi: Sup freckles

Eren: So Marco, have you and Jean talked since, you know?

Marco: No I haven't talked to that jerk.

Levi: Come on Marco, you don't really mean that. Has he even tried to talk to you since then?

Marco: Yes I do, and yes he has. But I refuse to listen to him. 

Eren: But he really misses you.

Marco: I don't really care.

Levi: Don't you miss him the slightest?

Marco: I.. well.. yeah.

Levi: So if we brought you to him, would you be willing to hear him out?   
Marco: I don't know. 

Eren: Marco, Jean is in love with you, and I know you're still in love with him.

Marco: Alright, I'll listen to what he had to say. 

Eren: Yay!

X

Jean: Wait, what? 

Levi: How many times are we gonna have to say it? He said he would talk to you, and he's in the living room. Now take the tampon out, and get out there and talk to him. 

Jean: But I can't talk to him now, I don't even look presentable. 

Eren: You're wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt. Now stop being such a pussy.

Jean: But-

Levi: I don't care if you have a thong up you ass! Get out there and talk to him!

Jean: Geez, it must be fun dating you.(goes into the room) Hey Marco

Marco: Hey Jean

Jean: Marco listen, I'm really sorry about how things ended between us. 

Marco: Yeah, me too. 

Jean: I really do love you Marco, and I don't want us to be over.

Marco: Jean I don't think I can. 

Levi: Oh get over it Marco. It was a dare, he doesn't like Eren. He really likes you. Can't you just open your eyes and see that?

Eren: Yeah, and as much as the idea sickens me, just kiss and make up.

Jean: They're right Marco, I don't want to be without you. Can you forgive me?

Marco: (sigh)... Yes Jean, I forgive you.

Jean: (kisses Marco)

Levi: Gross, they're making out.

Eren: You wanna make out? 

Levi: Ok

Eren: (pulls Levi in for a kiss)

Winter: Eren and Levi how did the plan.. goooo? Is this a yaoi orgy?! That's so hot!

Levi: God away!

Winter: Never!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ex boyfriend heard about me and my ex girlfriend, and more he wants to get back together. I'm really confused.


	36. Keep It in the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't stay in the closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know anymore.

ereri_is_my_OTP: I dare Levi and Eren to go to Jean's house and hide in his closet all night and see if anything good happens.

Levi: Remind me why we're in here again. 

Eren: The dare Levi, the dare. 

Levi: This is complete bullshit Eren. We've been here in this musty closet for eight fucking hours, and he hasn't done anything worth my interest. 

Eren: Jean is a loser, I'm sure he'll do something embarrassing sooner or later. 

Levi: I agree he's a loser, but he hasn't done shit yet.

Eren: Well-

Jean: Girl.. face..you

Levi: What the hell is that?

Eren: Shh, listen Levi.(puts ear against closet door)

Jean: I'm a barbie girl, my face makes you hurl~ 

Levi: Oh my fucking god, are you kidding me? 

Eren: I told you.(snickers)

Jean: Come on barbie, let's go party~

ring ring 

Levi: Is that is phone? 

Eren: Yeah, I think so.

Jean: Hello.. oh hey Marco.. Yeah sure you can come over. When will you be here?.. In ten.. alright cool see you then.. I wove you too.

Levi: Wove, how lame is that? 

Eren: But I wove you, Levi.

Levi: Shut up asshole. 

X

Levi: Man, where did he go?

Eren: Shh

Levi: Boy if you tell me to shush one more time, I swear I'll cut off your balls. 

Eren: I'm sorry love, but I hear something. 

Levi: Well I don't here a damn thing, so if we don't-

Eren: Shh

Levi: Seriously, where do you want them to go after I cut them off.

Eren: Levi, shut up and listen. 

Levi: Fine

Marco: Oh Jean~

Levi: Are they?

Eren: Yeah, I think they are. 

Levi: Fucking disgusting. 

Eren: Oh come on Levi, we do it like rabbits. 

Levi: But it's hot when we do.

Eren: Just think of the bright side.

Levi: What is the bright? 

Eren: Uh.. free porn.

Levi: Not funny

Eren: I know

X

Marco: Oh Jean.. Ah.. Right there! RIGHT THERE! 

Levi: How long have they been at it?

Eren: Ten.. minutes.

Levi: Well Jean can last, I'll give him that.

Eren: Oh come on Levi, you know I last longer. 

Levi: Yeah, I know.

Jean: AHHHH.. MARCO! 

Levi: Why is he so loud?

Eren: I don't know. 

Marco: Jeanjeanjeanjean! OH GOD!  YES YES YES YES! 

Jean: I'M GONNA.. MARCO! 

Marco: JEAN! Hah.. oh.. that was so good. 

Jean: Yeah, ready for round two?

Eren and Levi: Oh hell no!(busts out of closet) Hell No!

Jean: The fuck were you guys doing in there.

Eren: I'll tell you what we're not doing. Staying in there and listening to another minute of that awful moaning of yours!

Levi: Yeah Jean, you were so loud when you orgasmed I thought you were gonna pass out and die. Fuck this dare, fuck that closet, we're out and proud. Deuces!(runs out)

Eren: Bye!(follows Levi)

Marco: Well that's embarrassing that they heard us.

Jean: Yeah, you still wanna go another round? 

Marco: Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why you don't go in the closet!


	37. It's Too Soon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My birthday present to all of you.

animegirl4life: I dare Eren to propose to Levi have a wedding at the end tell him it was a dare but then says it was the best dare and wouldn't change it 4 the world cuz he luvs Levi. AND. 

DemonYaoiShipper: I dare Eren and Levi to go on a super cliche date and for Eren to propose to him. 

Winter: Hey look Eren, two people agree with me. Now you have to marry him.

Eren: But, I can't. 

Winter: What the fuck are you talking about? You and Levi have been together for years. Most couples get married after a year or two, but you still haven't made a commitment. Don't tell me you're one of those guys. The ones that think you're already living together, having sex, and doing everything a married couple would normally do, so what's the point. You're not one of those assholes, are you?! Do you not care about Levi's happiness?! Do you only think about yourself?! Do you even love him?!

Eren: Of course I love him! And don't you ever say otherwise! 

Winter: Then stop being a shitty partner and make him happy! 

Eren: I think you're right. 

Winter: Of course I'm right you idiot!

Eren: No need for the harsh insults.

Winter: Yes need for the harsh insults fuckwad, now go find Levi. 

Eren: Man, you are pure evil.

X

Eren: Hey babe

Levi: Oh, what's up Eren?

Eren: I have a romantic evening planned for us. 

Levi: A romantic evening? What the hell are you planning?

Eren: Nothing, I just want a romantic evening with the love of my life. So go get ready and prepare to be wooed off your feet.

Levi: Ooookay

X 

Eren: Hey babe, are you almost ready? 

Levi: Yeah, I'm just about done.(walks out of bathroom) How do I look?

Eren: Sexy as fuck.

Levi: Wow, that's romantic. You don't look so bad yourself, Eren.

Eren: Here, put this on.(hands him a blindfold)

Levi: We're not doing your bondage kink again!

Eren: It's not for that, just put it on.

Levi: Fine

X

Levi: Eren, are we almost there? We have been walking for a long time.

Eren: Yes grumpy, we're here. Now you can take off the blindfold. 

Levi: Finally(uncovers his eyes) Oh Eren, you're so sweet. 

Eren: I know you're favorite restaurant is Wall Sina, so I just had to take you here for our special night. 

Levi: I love you.

Eren: I love you too. And hopefully you say yes.(whispers)

Levi: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. 

Eren: I just said I love you.

X

Jeff: Hello my name is Jeff, and I'll be your server this evening at Wall Sina. Can I get you start with something to drink?

Eren: A bottle of your finest wine, thank you.

Jeff: I'll get that for you right away sir.(leaves)

Levi: Fine wine, romantic dinner, you're really going all out.

Eren: Well you do deserve the finest things in life.

Levi: How did I end up with someone as perfect as you?

Eren: I ask myself the same question everyday. 

X

Levi: That was a lovely dinner Eren. Thank you so much for taking me out for a good time. I don't know how it can get much better. 

Eren: Well I'll give it a try, I actually brought you here for a reason. 

Levi: And why is that? 

Eren: (takes Levi's hands in his own) Levi, I know we've been together for years, and they have been the best years of my life. Not a day went by that I didn't smile while I was in your presence. You made me feel full of life. Made me believe that love was real, and not just something that was a fairytale. You made realize that I was worthy of love. Even after all this time, after everything you've done for me, I still haven't fully committed myself to you. And I'm changing that right. (Rises from his chair, walks over to Levi, gets down on one knee, and pulls out a ring.) 

Levi: Oh my god Eren

Eren: I love you more than anything in this world, Levi. I can't risk ever losing you. So Levi Ackerman, will you marry me? 

Levi: YES! YES! A thousand times yes, Eren.

Eren: (slide the ring on his finger and kisses Levi) I love you so much, and I promise you'll never regret this.

Levi: I love you too, and I'm a hundred percent certain that this is a choice with no regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do it, I had to make the reference. I've decided to split this up into two parts because I would like to make reference to their upcoming wedding in later chapters. Plus the wedding is going to be really long and contain a lot of smut. And if you're still mad, it's my birthday so I can do whatever I want.


	38. I need my fill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How come when I type in bottom/uke/submissive Levi, I still get top/seme/dominant Levi? I don't understand.

I've been looking for some submissive Levi fanfics, and it's getting hard to find them. If you have any recommendations on some I should read please let me know, it doesn't even matter if it's on a different website. All fanfics are welcome(long, short, smutty, nonsmutty, angsty, drama, tragedy, comedy, nerdy, OOC, mpreg, Alpha/omega, vampire, werewolf, ereri, eruri) just please no bottom Eren or Erwin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My next update will consist of multiple chapters.


	39. Killed with Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a bitch and not updating in a month.

lilpupz: I dare Levi not to say any profanities for a whole week and be nice to everyone (even Jean, yes xD) then at the end of the week, gather everyone in the mess hall and shout  
"I WAS ONCE LEGALLY MARRIED MY WINDEX BOTTLES!"

Levi: Why the hell do I have to do that?

Winter: Watch your fucking language Levi! No cursing remember! 

Levi: But you just-

Winter: I did what?!

Levi: Ugh.. just nevermind.

Day 1 

Eren: Hey babe, what's wrong? 

Levi: Nothing is wrong Eren. Can you please just leave me alone for a bit?

Eren: Woah, did you just say "please"? Now I'm seriously worried.

Levi: Yes I did, and I'll say it again. I'm not in a good mood right now. So just please leave me alone.

Eren: Alrighty then, I'll.. uh.. see you later babe.

Levi: Thank you

Eren: Ok now you're scaring me.

Day 2 

Jean: Hey Levi

Levi: Yes, what is it?

Jean: Woah, no insult? No " I have better things to do than to waste my breath on a worthless brat such as yourself?" Nothing at all, really Levi? 

Levi: No, now what can I help you with?

Jean: What's up with you?

Levi: Excuse me?

Jean: Eren told me to ask you if you're feeling alright.

Levi: I can assure you that I'm quite alright. 

Jean: Come on, I know you. You wouldn't be remotely nice to me unless something was really eating at you.

Levi: Jean, if this is the only reason for you talking to me than I'm afraid I'm gonna have to dismiss our conversation. Goodbye

Day 3 

Levi: This dare is killing me. This stupid mother frikin dare!

Eren: Sup babe? Have you cooled down?

Levi: Stop calling me that. 

Eren: No

Levi: Whatever

Eren: (hugs Levi) So what's eatin ya?

Levi: Eren, be honest with me. Did you tell Jean to ask me why I've been acting the way I am now?

Eren: That damn Horseface wasn't supposed to tell you that(mumbles)

Levi: Eren

Eren: Well... Yeah, I'm sorry. 

Levi: I would appreciate if you kept our personal details private and not have your little friend-

Eren: He's not my friend. 

Levi: Your little pain in the butt intrude. Does that sound reasonable? 

Eren: Yes dear

Levi: Thank you very much. 

Day 5 

Winter: Hey shorty, what's up? 

Levi: My anxiety level.

Winter: Care to elaborate on that one.

Levi: This stupid dare of being nice to everyone. Even Jean, really? Horseface of all people has to have his butt kissed by me, Levi Ackerman. 

Winter: Calm down babycakes. It's almost over, then you can go back to being the 5 foot midget with a 6 foot pole up his ass.

Levi: You little-

Winter: Hey, no cursing remember? 

Levi: B word

Winter: Better, still a bit mean but better.

Levi: Sorry

Winter: Hold on stop.. the world just stopped moving.. Levi Ackerman just apologized. What the hell is going on?

Levi: Oh hush

Winter: Bye my little shorty.

Last day 

Winter: You know what you have to do now Levi.

Levi: But it's so embarrassing.

Winter: You survived a whole week of being nice and you can't to this one little thing, come on Leeeevi. 

Levi: Don't say my name like that.

Winter: Fine but you still have to do it. Seriously there's not even that many people in the mess hall today. 

Levi: Everyone is in here.

Winter: I was trying to make you feel better but you leave me with no choice. HEY EVERYONE, LEVI HAS SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY!

Levi: The hell Winter? 

Winter: Say it!

Levi: Oi, fine. Alright everyone listen up because I'm only going to say this once! I WAS ONCE LEGALLY MARRIED MY WINDEX BOTTLES!

Eren: What?

Sasha: I knew it!

Eren: What?!

Jean: Well that's interesting. 

Armin: Since it was more than one bottle, would that count as polygamy?

Mikasa: I think it does Armin. 

Eren: WHAT?!

Winter: Well it's the only thing Levi can get to squirt.

Levi: That's fucking disgusting. 

Winter: It's who I am. If I was a tap your water would be dirty as fuck because I have no filter. 

Eren: You get no more Windex Levi. 

Levi: You can't honestly be jealous of household cleaner Eren?

Eren: Well I am!

Winter: Sweet Maria, help us all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to get to know my readers a bit, so I'm gonna use this box to ask you guys questions every chapter. Questions might be controversial so please don't argue with others about their opinion.
> 
> What is your least favorite pairing in Attack on Titan and why?
> 
> Mine is ErwinxEren because it really doesn't make sense to me, and I really can't see Eren as an uke. No offense to anyone that ships it, it's just not my cup of tea.


	40. New Writer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new writer in town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma update at least once a week.

SupaKawaiiDesu: I dare Levi to write his own detailed explicit ereri fic and read it out loud. 

Levi: So I have to be like one of you shitty writers.

Winter: Excuse your face. There is an art to writing a fanfiction. The words have to dance across the page with a harmonious flow. There needs to be a reasonable amount of dialogue and narration. If there's to much narration it gets boring. Not enough narration and you will never have good story. Don't even get me started on the critics.

Levi: Ok, ok I get it. 

Winter: So are you ready to write your first smut fanfic?

Levi: My first what fanfic? 

Winter: You know smut, smexy, doin the do. Sounding familiar? 

Levi: Not even the slightest. 

Winter: Sex, porn, 50 Shades of Gay material Levi! Sweet Maria you are dense. 

Levi: People actually read that shit?

Winter: I write that shit Levi!

Levi: Gross

Winter: Well

Levi: Just leave me alone so I can write this stupid story.

X

Winter: Sooooo.. how's it goin?

Levi: Fucking fantastic, I'm a natural at this. 

Winter: Really, may I read a bit of it?

Levi: No you may not.

Winter: But whhhhyyyyyy?

Levi: Don't do that. 

Winter: Let me read it midget. 

Levi: Because of your midget comment you most definitely cannot read it now. 

Winter: I despise you. 

Levi: The feeling is mutual. 

X

Eren: Hey Levi, what are you writing?

Levi: Nothing!(covers the screen)

Eren: Why are you screaming? 

Levi: I'm not.. I mean I didn't mean to, sorry.

Eren: It's cool but seriously, what are you writing? 

Levi: Nothing for your eyes to see.

Eren: And why is that? 

Levi: Because you're eyes are horny. 

Eren: What the hell does that even mean?

Levi: You see everything I do as perverted.

Eren: Does that mean you're writing something perverted? 

Levi: No (blushes)

Eren: Oh god, you totally are! Who knew my fiancé was a pervert? 

Levi: Get out!

Eren: Whatever, later babe. Let me read that sexy story later.

Levi: Idiot

X

Winter: Are you done with that story yet? It's been a whole week.

Levi: Yes I actually am.

Winter: Read it to me now.

Levi: ...

Winter: Give it to me now. Give it to me yesterday. Now! NOW!

Levi: Christ, shut up so I can read it.

Winter: Yayyyy!

Levi: Levi was doing paper work while Eren came up to him and said "I want to do what grown-ups do. Can you teach me?" Levi clear everything off his desk and looked up at Eren. "Are you sure you want to do this Eren?" "Yes sir I am." "Ok, so your first lesson will be taxes." The end 

Winter: What the fuck was that? Where was the passion, the heat, the sex? I wanted the sex!

Levi: What about sex?

Winter: They said to write an explicit fanfiction.

Levi: Yeah, which I did. 

Winter: What?

Levi: Technically explicit means clear, and I think I made it very clear on what we did. 

Winter: Ugh, just leave the writing to me later on in the future. 

Levi: Your writing sucks.

Winter: At least I can write smut. 

Levi: At least I don't read smut. 

Winter: Touche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Question: Who do you see topping more often Eren or Levi? Why?
> 
> I prefer Eren topping more mainly because of the height. I see Eren growing to be at least 6 ft and someone who's barely 5 ft can't top that. Plus there's the fact that Eren's body is wider and can hold more muscle mass, so Levi's can be considered more feminine. And I just love when the more serious person gets to show they're cute and vulnerable side.


	41. Cock Blocker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cock blocker gets cock blockie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why this took so long to write.

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Erwin to keep interrupting Eren and Levi during sexy time, and they can't know about the dare.

Erwin: I like this dare.

Winter: I knew you would. Wait, aren't you still dating Hanji? 

Erwin: No, we broke up a while ago when she found out I have feelings for Levi. She's dating Moblit now. But I was using her to make Levi jealous in the first place, so no skin of my bones. Now I can get Levi to leave Eren and be with me.

Winter: You do they're engaged now, right? 

Erwin: What?! When did that happen?!

Winter: A while ago

Erwin: Well we can't have that, can we?

Winter: I can have that, in fact most of us can. 

Erwin: Well I can't.(leaves)

Winter: Dammit Erwin

X

Levi: Should we really be doing this.. hah.. in my office Eren?

Eren: Shh.. it's ok Levi. Just lay back on the desk, relax, and I'll do all the work. (kisses Levi's neck)

Levi: Mmh Eren, I love when you do that. 

Eren: And I love when you moan my name. Now let's get these clothes off that beautiful body of yours. (unbottons Levi's shirt)

Erwin:(barges in) Levi!

Levi: Oi Erwin, did you never learn to knock?!(covers up)

Eren: Yeah cock blocker, get out. 

Erwin: Well if you didn't want anyone coming in then you should've locked the door.

Eren: I did fuckwad, you just used your jealous rage to break down the door because you couldn't stand the thought of Levi and I sleeping together. 

Erwin: That could not be more true. The mere thought makes me want to vomit blood. But I'll have you know that I was dared to do this. So you won't be able to celebrate your engagement with any sexy time while I'm around. 

Levi: You asshole

Erwin: Well you are what you fuck, sweetheart. 

Eren: Dick

Erwin: And that's exactly what I use to do it with.

X

Erwin: (goes into Levi's room) Hey guys

Eren: Fuck off Erwin. 

Erwin: I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?

Levi: Yes, yes you are! My sexual patience can only go so far Erwin. 

Erwin: Well then, why don't release some of that tension with me?

Eren: That's it fuckboy, keep making passes at my fiancé and I will happily cut your dick off. 

Erwin: Let's see you try it Jaegerbomb.

Eren: That's it! 

Levi: Enough Eren, Erwin just leave. 

Erwin: But why? 

Levi: Because I said so. 

Erwin: I don't like that reasoning so I think I'll stay.

Eren: When Levi tells you to leave, you fucking leave. 

Levi: You know what? I'm tired and completely out of the mood now so I'm going to bed. 

Eren: But babe~

Levi: No, both you losers get out of my room.

Eren: You mean our room?

Levi: Not until we're married. This is still my room and your room is still the basement. I only let you sleep here because I was being nice. Now get out so I can get some rest. 

Eren and Erwin: Fine

X

Eren: What's your problem Erwin? 

Erwin: Your my problem Eren.

Eren: Excuse me?

Erwin: You heard me, you don't deserve him.

Eren: And you do? It's been years now Erwin, don't you think you should move on?

Erwin: No, I want him, he's mine and I'll tell that to his face.

Eren: Ok, I just have one more question for you.

Erwin: And what's that?

Eren: Where do you want your balls to go after I rip them off?

X

Eren: Come on Levi in here.

Levi: The closet, really Eren? 

Eren: Well he most likely isn't here, so why not?

Levi: Fine, but only because I'm really horny. (follows Eren into the closet) First situation where my short stature comes in handy.

Eren: Meanwhile I'm squished over here. 

Levi: Eren, stop breathing down my neck.

Eren: That isn't me.

Levi: Well if it's not you then who is it?

Erwin: What do you think you're doing?

Eren and Levi: Erwin! 

Erwin: Yes, that is my name.

Levi: What are you doing here?!

Erwin: Oh you know, just watching and waiting to stop any sign of you two getting it on.

Eren: Okay I'm really pissed off right now, and I know it's the wrong time to make a joke. But this gives a whole new meaning to three gay guys in a closet.

Levi: God Eren, shut the fuck up! 

X

Levi: Sad we have to result to the bathroom. 

Eren: I know, but we are alone right now.

Levi: So there's no way he could be in here?

Eren: Nope I checked all of the drawers. 

Levi: Why would he be in a drawer?

Eren: Well you can never be too careful.

Levi: Ok (kisses Eren) Hah.. I missed this so much.

Eren: Me too.. oh god you feel so good.

Levi: You'll feel even better when you're inside me.

Eren: You're so sexy.

Erwin: And I'm so disgusted.

Eren: What the fuck?!

Levi: I'M SO DONE!

X

Winter: Erwin this dare has gone on long enough. You're hurting my angry babies by not giving them alone time.

Erwin: No, I'm not giving up.

Winter: Well you're not stopping their love making now.

Erwin: What?!

Winter: Yeah, it's been going on for like an hour now. Surprised you didn't notice the sounds coming from behind that door. Just be quiet and listen for a sec.

Levi: Ah.. oh gawhhd.. E-ren.

Eren: Mmh.. Levi

Erwin: Crap, I have to stop them!

Winter: I wouldn't even try buddy boy. That door is barricaded so tight not you nor your eyebrows will be able to get through.

Erwin: Dammit

Winter: Erwin, it's really time to move on.

Erwin:(sighs) Maybe you're right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Question: Who else do you ship on aot besides Ereri?
> 
> I ship Mikaani because I want that lesbian action to happen.


	42. Update?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen because I'm clumsy.

I know I said I'm suppose to update a least once a week, but I can't this week and maybe next. I have a concussion and I'm having a hard time concentrating. It's even hard typing this now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry


	43. Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update

Sorry this isn't an update and that I've been gone so long. I promise that I'll have something up by tomorrow. 

P.S. I'm confessing to the guy I like today so wish me luck.


	44. Dat Azz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone say it with me, dat azz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I suck at keeping promises, but better late than never. Sorry for keeping you guys waiting.

Kawaiibootybutt: Eren, have you ever seen anyone with a bigger butt than Levi?

Levi: Oh, I would really love to hear this one.

Winter: Me too!

Eren: Have I ever seen anyone with a bigger butt than Levi? That answer to that question would be a yes, I certainly have countless times. 

Levi: Eren!

Winter: Shit is about to go down!

Eren: But have I seen anyone with a finer ass than Levi? Hell no!

Levi: ...

Eren: I eat that ass every night. 

Levi: Babe! 

Winter: Kinky 

Eren: I'm just telling it how it is. You know that I worship it every night.

Levi: Eren shut up!

Winter: No Eren, please keep going. I would really like to hear more about this. What make Levi's ass so fine? 

Eren: Well I can talk about the shape first. Levi's ass is the definition of apple bottom. It's like firm and soft at the same time. And the way he swings his hips while walking, gives me a boner just thinking about it.

Levi: I'm leaving

Winter: Then go and stop interrupting. 

Levi: Well then

Eren: As I was saying, his ass is just perfection. It can take a lot too, if you know what I mean? 

Winter: What do you mean? 

Eren: Well I'm not one to brag but I'm pretty big. You wouldn't think that an ass so small could take something so big, but it can. It's always so tight and warm, it feels like I'm in heaven everytime we have sex. Hard and fast or soft and slow, now matter how we do it it's perfect. 

Levi: Are you done talking about my ass now?

Eren: Oh Levi, I could talk about it for hours. But I'll stop now since you're getting so upset.

Levi: Finally

Winter: I learned so much about you Levi, and I can't wait to share it with Hanji. 

Levi: Bitch you tell anyone and I swear I'll kill you.

Winter: You wouldn't, you love me too much.

Levi: I hate you so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My confession worked and now I have a boyfriend.


	45. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long ass wait. I fail as a writer TT~TT

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Levi to give Erwin a kiss on the cheek, and Eren can only watch. 

Eren: Fuck no!

Levi: Do you want to ruin our marriage?

Winter: Technically you guys aren't married yet.

Erwin: Why do you all want to play with my emotions? Can't you see that I'm trying to get over Levi?

Eren: And you're doing a real shitty job at it.

Erwin: At least I'm trying fuckwad.

Eren: Excuse me?!

Erwin: You're excused

Eren: You know what?!

Erwin: Yeah, I do know what. We've been friends for a long time, he's a great guy.

Eren: Smartass

Erwin: At least I have an ass.

Eren: At least I get some ass, Levi's ass to be more specific.

Levi: Eren, what the fuck?

Eren: I'm just calling it as it is.

Levi: Well cut it out.

Erwin: Yeah Eren, cut it out.

Eren: Shut it, Smith.

Erwin: Make me, Jaeger.

Eren: I don't make trash, I bury it.

Erwin: You wanna fight?!

Eren: Yeah, I do!

Winter: Both of you shut the fuck up! Eren's you're just stalling so Levi doesn't have to do the dare! Levi will you just get the fucking dare over with already!

Levi: Jeez, you don't have to yell. Erwin, come here.

Erwin: ...(walks over to Levi)

Levi: Bend down you fucking Titan.

Erwin: (bends down to Levi) Why do you have to be so short?

Levi: Shut it eyebrows!(kisses Erwin on the cheek)

Winter: See you guys it wasn't that bad, right? How do you guys feel?

Levi: Shameful 

Erwin: Depressed 

Eren: Pissed!

Winter: Stop overreacting Eren.

Eren: I'm not! 

Erwin: You really are, Eren calm down.

Eren: Fuck off

Erwin: You really want to start this again?

Eren: And what if I do?

Erwin: Fight me then.

Levi: Eren if you fight with him, I'll fight with you.

Eren: Why?! Are you protecting your boyfriend now?!

Levi: What's your problem?

Eren: If you can't figure it out then forget it!(runs off)

Levi: Look what you two have done. Eren!(runs after him)

Erwin: You think they'll work it out?

Winter: I hope so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started a new story and I would love if you guys would give it a read.


	46. My Popsicle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi shows his skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 12am and I'm up writing.

Kawaiibootybutt: I dare Levi to eat a Popsicle in front of Eren, and just let Eren sit there with a hard-on XD

Winter: Where is Levi?

Eren: He's in the bed resting from last night's activities.

Winter: So you to made up?

Eren: Yep. He apologized, we went out to dinner, then we had sex for a couple of hours.

Winter: Wow. You have no shame in sharing your sex life, do you?

Eren: No, not really.

Winter: Well, isn't that nice? Now, can you please get Levi?

Eren: Why? 

Winter: He has a dare to do.

Eren: I don't every think he's going to be able to walk today.

Levi: You don't think who will be able to walk today?

Winter: You

Levi: I beg your pardon?

Winter: Eren thought you couldn't walk today because of how hard he fucked you last night.

Levi: You told her?!

Eren: I might have

Levi: Eren Jaeger!

Winter: Hey! No time for fighting right now. Levi you have a dare to do.

Levi: What do I have to do now?

Winter: Take a look for yourself.(hands Levi a piece of paper)

Levi: (reads the dare)...Eren

Eren: Yes?

Levi: What is wrong with these fucking people?!

Eren: It can be that bad Levi.

Levi: Read it (hands Eren the paper)

Eren: ...Oh 

Levi: Yeah

Eren: This is going to be painful for me.

Levi: And me

Winter: I actually feel more for Eren.

Levi: Well no one asked you.

Winter: Well then. (throws popsicle at Levi) If you're gonna be a bitch, I'm gonna treat you like one. Now be a good bitch and shove it in your mouth.

Levi: I hate you so much right now.

Winter: I know, now suck the popsicle. I know this isn't the first time you've done this. 

Levi: (starts sucking and licking the popsicle)

Winter: How are you feeling Eren?

Eren: Painfully hard

Winter: Still no filter, huh?

Eren: So fucking hot

Levi: (blushes)...mmhh.. ah...mmhhm

Eren: God Levi

Winter: Eren, you are really saluting there.

Eren: (looks down) Dammit 

Winter: Ok Levi, you can stop now. I think Eren's had enough.

Levi: Thank god

Eren: Come on (grabs Levi's wrist and starts dragging him)

Levi: Where are we going?

Eren: The bedroom 

Levi: Okay

Winter: Wow, those two are really something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma go to bed now, bye.


	47. Back to Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back  
> Back again  
> She's back  
> Tell a friend

Levi: Winter. Winter! God where the hell is that idiot?

Eren: I don't know, but it's been so long since we've seen her.

Levi: Yeah six months, I'm actually starting to get worried.

Eren: Aw Levi, you actually care about her.

Levi: Fuck no, I'm worried that everyone has given up on waiting for an update.

Eren: Babe, like that all ready hasn't happened yet.

Levi: The bitch is so incompetent I swear. We let her write that other story and it's like she completely forgot about us.

Eren: And after she promised that she wouldn't get behind in her writings, it's ridiculous. So what do we do now?

Levi: No idea, but the next time I see Winter there will be hell to pay.

Malum: Hey guy! Long time no see.(runs towards Eren and Levi)

Eren: Uh...

Levi: And where in fuck's sake have you been, Winter?!

Malum: Malum

Levi: Excuse me?

Malum: I go by Malum now, not Winter.

Levi: I don't give a fuck what you "go by now". I'll call you whatever I goddamn please! What I do care about where the hell you've been all this time. You can't just disappear for 6+ months and then pull a "hey guys I'm back" B.S. It just doesn't work that way.

Malum: Where I've been eh? Well that's none of you business.

Levi: Why you little...!

Eren: Levi, calm down.

Malum: Yeah Levi, calm down.

Eren: You're really not helping you situation, ya know? Besides it's not us who are your biggest worry, it's "them" that you have to watch out for.

Malum: Them?

Levi: Yes, "them". They'll tear you apart limb from limb.

Eren: They'll rip off the flesh from your carcass and eat it raw.

Levi: Your bones will be used to make stew.

Eren: And whatever remains of you will be ground up and used as grinds to flavor their hot beverages. Beverages that will be sipped as they read the endless collection of yaoi stories. It's what they do to shitty authors like yourself that can't make  time for them.

Levi: Oh no, we're not the one that you should be fearing. You should be scared of the readers and what they're going to do to you now since you're here.

Eren: If I were you I'd be on my hands and knees apologizing.

Malum:(quickly drops to the ground) Please forgive me! I'm so sorry that I didn't make time for the story. I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. I'm sorry that I've been so shitty and made you guys wait so long. I promise I'm getting back to updating, just please don't turn me into human coffee!

Eren and Levi: (laughing in the background)


End file.
